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When you can't measure what is important, the temptation is to take what you can measure and turn it into what is important. Ken Burns This quotation by the renowned American filmmaker contains tremendous insight. What’s his point? Well, he has two. First, he implies that we sometimes struggle to identify what really counts. Second, our response to this is to find a metric we can deliver on and present that as ‘the thing that really matters’. Once we think like this, we’ll come to believe that ‘bigger and more popular’ equates to success. Why? Because they’re measurable. What implications does this observation have for the church? What happens when ‘bigger and more popular’ is achievable but at the expense of healthiness? What if we can increase our numbers but only by entertaining people and airbrushing out the less culturally palatable bits of the gospel? Like sin, for example. When Jesus (intentionally) lost almost all of his followers overnight by teaching unwelcome truths (John 6.66), was that success? Not if you believe the metrics of size or popularity. Imagine what happens when, unable to identify what’s important (because it’s not measurable), an organisation picks a metric that can only be delivered by unhealthy means—driving your team; massaging the figures; authoritarian control; creating impressive but false narratives about yourself or the organisation. Imagine further what happens when leaders either acquiesce or actively collude, and are evaluated or congratulated on delivering this apparent success. Remember that it’s very common that, at least to start with, everyone likes it and applauds it. Unhealthiness then becomes baked into the organisation at a fundamental level. And worse, from within it is invisible. A CRUMBLING CULTURE Organisational cultures—and it is no less true for churches and Christian organisations—lose their way when they allow their ‘shadow side’ to become normalised, slice by slice. In fact, they increasingly veer off course by creating a culture that’s resistant to examination. Inside the organisation, people just learn to live with it, as with a dysfunctional family. At first, some will put up with this state of affairs for the sake of the apparently successful outcomes. They get used to holding their tongues, in case they’re responsible for the ‘success’ drying up. Sadly, the act of wilfully turning a blind eye eventually becomes actual blindness. What makes this more disconcerting is that the good is mixed in with the bad, and because there are no overt ‘red flag’ sins, the issues can’t be seen from the outside either. When churches start doing things that are neither healthy nor faithful to the gospel, it is by no means guaranteed that those things will be unpopular. On the contrary, they might be the very activities that increase the church’s popularity, especially if they deliver something that looks buzzing, growing and—most attractively—big. A feedback loop between leaders and organisation develops in which measurable successes reinforce the leaders' popularity, identity, and position. The leaders continue down the same path because that's what people like and demand. Even if they start to realise they’re on a hamster wheel, they have little room for manoeuvre. They can’t jump off without alienating everyone. CRACKS WILL START TO SHOW Sooner or later, the cracks will probably start to show. But not for a while. By this time, leaders have often painted themselves into a corner, and they don’t want to see them. They have a strong interest in avoiding them, or explaining them away. But you can't build on sand forever, and eventually the building will collapse. In fact, the larger the building (the higher the numbers), the louder the crash will be. Sooner or later, someone will end up with a nervous breakdown. Either the leaders themselves, or prominent people in the organisation. Or more likely, both. Sometimes, a leader starts to realise that they’ve made a mistake. They come to understand that the focus on numbers has had a negative impact on their faithfulness to the gospel. They may even feel trapped. As this self-awareness increases, a rift with the organisation can open up. The leader wants to become healthier but the organisation doesn't. Or, the other way around. Either way, a lot of people become caught up in the aura of success and they will fight against any change because they believe in current ‘successful’ practices. In fact, it’s important to avoid looking too carefully, since this rocks the boat, and looking the other way keeps everyone feeling safe. Sadly, during this process, spiritual healthiness has disappeared. It has been replaced by the need for an appearance of perpetual success, which is deemed essential to the organisation, the leaders and maybe to a wider brand. Perhaps most tragically, while things were going wrong under the hood, nobody really intended it, or did it deliberately. However, you can guarantee that people within have started to feel sinned against at an organisational level. Is that possible? Can an organisation sin at the level of organisational culture? I believe they can when feeding the success machine becomes the most important thing. People are no longer treated as dearly loved children of God and instead become cogs in the machine. Helping people rest in and delight in Jesus is no longer the aim. Success becomes more important than the people, and leaders become strategists for the machine rather than shepherds of the flock. This is when a church (or parachurch ministry) has truly lost its way. So, let me leave you with a question. Are you building a culture of healthiness—growing a grace community of people knowing and delighting in Christ and his gospel, full of prayer, thanksgiving, and worship—or are you delivering something that is actually an impressive-looking substitute for spiritual healthiness? It’s a chastening question. We should never assume that simply because we consider ourselves to be leaders who want to walk in repentance and faith, that we will never veer off course. Any leader can lose their way, which is why all leaders and organisations need to be open to accountability and challenge. Perhaps most of all, we need a recognition that whatever the numbers may indicate, they mean nothing unless we remain faithful to the gospel. As I finish, a couple of verses to consider. For we are weak and fallible, ever in need of the Lord’s guidance and the leading of his Spirit. The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jer 17.9 For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. Matt 23.12

In that haze between sleep and the dawning of a new day, when your brain attempts to grasp what day it is, there is a moment when you realise . . . it’s a Sunday! In that split second moment, where is your heart? Where is your mind and where are your emotions? Are you eager to meet the day with action? Are you frantically ticking off the jobs you need to complete before church? Do you experience the stomach-clenching dread of facing situations and people you feel ill-equipped to deal with? How we feel about Sundays will vary each week. Some weeks will feel more challenging than others depending on our tiredness, encouragement levels, and other factors. I’d love to say that I’m the ‘jump out of bed with joy’ kind of pastor’s wife, but sadly that’s not true. I’m not bad at the jumping bit but the joy part often eludes me. One recent Sunday morning before church, I read these words from Isaiah. If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the Lord’s holy day honourable and if you honour it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the Lord, and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.’ For the mouth of the Lord has spoken. Isaiah 58.13-14 I was struck to the heart. If God expected Israel to find delight in the Sabbath, he must surely expect Christians to delight in the day when we meet regularly with his people!* But delight was far from how I felt that morning, and this had been the case every Sunday morning for a long time. It’s not that our church context is especially challenging at the moment, or that our church places unattainable demands on us as a family. How had my attitude towards church slipped so far from delight? I was aware that over time I had begun to view Sundays in an increasingly negative light. Why? Sometimes it’s obvious why we develop negative attitudes towards church services. Tricky pastoral issues, challenging people, and the anticipation of negative reactions to our ministry—these things can take their toll. In addition, the low-level warfare known as ‘getting our children to church’ can tire us out before we’ve even left the house. When you add in the preparations necessary to host a gaggle of students for lunch after the service, along with countless other tasks, well, it’s draining. So, we can be physically tired, and perhaps emotionally vulnerable, but why should that turn our hearts from delight to dread? Surely something else is going on. Here I could remind you that church is God’s very good idea; that we are called to serve, and that church is a privilege that many don’t have. But I’m not sure that such reminders are helpful. In fact, if you find yourself dreading the Sunday routine, they may just leave you feeling more guilty. WE’RE TOO BIG My suspicion is that often our dread of Sundays springs from the fact that we have become too big. As in, too big for our boots. We’ve begun to believe the lie that the ‘success’ of a Sunday service relies on us and our ministry. We’ve come to believe that we must expend more energy than we can spare to preach or teach in a way that changes hearts. We’ve told ourselves that it’s our responsibility to greet every newcomer in such a winsome manner that they’ll be sure to return. It’s all up to us. And when we’re discussing an issue with an awkward member of the congregation, we’re failing unless we speak with the persuasiveness of St. Paul. Deep down, then, we don’t trust God. Not really. We don’t believe that he can produce fruit unless we’re performing at the top of our game. Nor can he heal us from the bumps and bruises we receive in a life of ministry. I’m not arguing that we shouldn’t do our best on a Sunday. But at what point do our prayers move from asking the Lord to work through us in our weakness to asking him to make Sunday go smoothly? Sometimes a subtle shift occurs and we find ourselves asking God to give us a problem-free day instead of trusting that he will bring glory to himself and fruit among his followers through the messiness of a Sunday. Is his power and freedom to work wonders in human hearts really constrained by the amount of sleep we’ve had or how coherent we are on a Sunday morning? Have we made the assumption that God’s ability to bear fruit in his people is limited by our energy levels and platform skills? God is at work, building us into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood (1 Pet 2.5) and we can be confident he will complete this good work (Phil 1.6). WE ARE ALSO NEEDY As I reflected on my dread of Sundays, I realised that I had forgotten that I am as much in need of church for my own growth as everyone else. Somehow, our lives in ministry (Phil’s and mine) had caused me to think in terms of ‘us and them’. We do ministry. They receive it. But that just isn’t true. Something much more wonderful is taking place. God is working in us and through us and he’s doing the same thing inside everyone else. We’re growing together; we’re becoming spiritually mature. Together. After all, we’re a body, as the apostle Paul reminds us. God has put the body together, giving greater honour to those that lacked it, so that there is no division in the body but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 1 Cor 12.24-25 ‘Them and us’ thinking assumes that God is only at work in church as we minister well. It places a tremendous burden on our energy and skills. But worse still, the more we become aware of our weaknesses, the more we’re tempted to put on the mask of professionalism. We do this in the vain hope that somehow our frailties will go unnoticed. At some point, the mask will slip. So, why not just take it off? Forget the pretence and come out into the light. There is such refreshment when we acknowledge that any ‘success’ is the work of God. He is the one who is changing us by his Spirit and if others are also changed, well, then that’s his work too. In his kindness and grace, he calls us to partner with him as he produces fruit in wonderful and unexpected ways. WHERE’S THE LOVE? Over time, you would expect our love for our churches to grow. If only it were that simple. Sadly, relationship breakdowns can occur, past wounds still hurt, and weariness can set in. I’ve spoken to several pastors’ wives recently who are struggling with frustration at just how slow their congregations are to change. ‘What else can we do to help them change?!’ they cry. Ministry over many years can lead to compassion fatigue and a loss of excitement once felt at the start. How do we restore this love for our congregation? In my early years as a pastor’s wife, I would pray regularly for each individual in the church as part of my devotions. It’s harder now that we’re in a larger church and somehow this practice has slipped off my agenda. Our church has grown such that I’m not entirely aware who is a regular anymore! It’s become tempting to disengage emotionally, since the numbers are so daunting. In response to this, a wise pastor once encouraged me to love a few people in the church well. Do to the few what you wish you could do for the many . I took this advice to heart. I decided to meet with a small group of women with the aim of sharing our lives together and praying for each other. Doing this has greatly enhanced my love for them and has helped me feel less overwhelmed. SLOW BUT NECESSARY WORK I knew I needed to break the grip of Sunday dread. So, I started by repenting of my wrong heart attitudes and skewed perspectives. I will confess that it’s been slow work at times. I’m still working on it. I can testify, however, that taking time to delight in the Lord and his goodness has worked wonders in my heart. Nowadays, I like to remind myself that however Sundays pan out, God is still on his throne and he is still at work. By committing each moment to him instead of lurching my way through the day, I have found so much more peace and contentment. I may never be someone who positively springs out of bed on a Sunday, but recently, I’ve spent those moments immediately after waking more profitably. I now hand the day over to the Lord. It is his day, after all. I trust him to fill it with good things. As I prepare for the busyness that lies ahead, my heart is less concerned about the ‘success’ of the day, and more eager to see God at work. In others and in me. For his glory. * I am not commenting here on the debated question whether Sunday is the ‘Christian Sabbath’. My focus is simply on our attitude to Sunday gathered worship and Sundays in general.

This is a letter to an imaginary friend, who has sought advice as he takes up a new position as pastor* in a church of a hundred and fifty members. We’ll call him David. Dear David, Therefore go and make disciples . Matt 28.19a Be strong and courageous . Josh 1.6a Thanks so much for asking me for advice. That is very brave 😂. I believe very strongly that when the church invited you to become its leader, this confirmed your calling. To lead a community of God’s people is both a calling and a privilege. So, as requested, here are some thoughts that I hope will be helpful as you begin work in your new role. THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY Nothing is more important than your own relationship with God. This should be blindingly obvious, but it’s so obvious that some leaders miss it. So, I’m using up some of my precious words to drive the point home. Prioritise your own spiritual life above all things. This is not selfishness. It is essential. You are no good to your church unless you are walking closely with the Lord. Led by the Spirit of God. Without a rich inner life, you’re like a car without an engine, a kite without the wind, a sailing boat without a sail. Ensure you make time to develop the spiritual disciplines that lie at the heart of your own growth and intimacy with Jesus. Solitude. Simplicity. Prayer. Fasting. Study. Scripture reading and meditation. Worship. Never, ever, become so busy that your devotional life suffers. If, at any point, you feel yourself drifting, please seek help. DON’T NEGLECT YOUR FAMILY Pastors sometimes believe that working fourteen hours a day is noble. It is not. Certainly, God should hold your greatest affection, but as a married man, you are not your own. You belong also to your wife, and your children need time with you. Do NOT neglect them. MISTAKEN IDENTITY Don’t ever tie your primary identity to your calling. You are first and foremost a child of God, dearly loved. Your role as a leader is important but never see it as anything more than a gift from God. And a privilege. One day, he may move you on to something different. Your primary identity as child of God, however, never, ever changes. You are his child forever. THE NEW BOY You’re the new boy. New boys shouldn’t make waves. During the first few months, your task is simply to learn. The community you’ve joined has a long history. It must be respected and understood if you’re to have any chance of implementing change. Learning about what has happened in your community before your arrival is never wasted time. ‘Forewarned is forearmed’ and all that. PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE Church leadership is the ultimate people business. It’s all about relationships. With God. With your fellow believers. With external partners. Building relationships with those you want to reach with the gospel. (For more on relationships, read this post .) Spend the first few months learning names. They are the key to a person’s heart. Meet Jerry one Sunday and remember his name the following Sunday—you’ll have a friend for life. (For more on the importance of names, read this post .) You can’t know everyone at the same depth, so prioritise the relationships you want to invest in. The people on your leadership team. The home group leaders. The youth and children’s volunteers. Get to know them well. Show you care by remembering the details. Then work out how you will either disciple them or organise for them to be discipled. When it comes to discipling others one-on-one, invest only in key people who will then disciple others. Delegate. You cannot do it all. BE A LEADER Be a leader. You are not just a facilitator, you are a leader. So it’s necessary to avoid a lot of the self-deprecating false modesty that is common among leaders nowadays. Me? Oh, not me. Look to Jesus! The apostle Paul didn’t lead like this, and neither should you. Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. Phil 3.17 Leadership is influence ( read a post on this .) The pastor exercises that influence by living a life of integrity, by showing others what it looks like to follow Jesus. This is not vanity. It is leadership. After you’ve been at the church for a while (the Lord will guide you on this), you will need to move from simply completing tasks (preaching, leading meetings etc) towards casting vision. VISION, VISION, VISION Great leaders know how to cast vision. ( Read a post on this .) It’s terribly tempting to wrap vision up in theological language. Growing disciples. Reaching the lost. Building the kingdom. Creating community . All true, but how will your particular church reach these goals? How do you intend for people to become disciples and make disciples? If it involves teaching, then how will you establish good teaching? (It has to be more than just a Sunday sermon. Preaching is great, but it’s not teaching.) How will the church reach the lost? How will you build community? What will hospitality in your church look like? What is the purpose of your small group gatherings? Over time, you will need to answer these questions. CULTURE Vision ties directly into the culture of a church. Culture is simply ‘behaviour based on our beliefs’. Or, as I like to say . . . It’s what we do around here. Cultures can be weak or strong (or in-between). You must work to create the kind of culture that enables your people to implement the vision you have given them. Churches with strong leaders and strong cultures tend to have members who know exactly what the church is about, what its priorities are, and which activities are important to achieve the goals set out by Jesus in the gospels. If you want to communicate ‘what we do around here’, then a new members class is a great way to do that. It is a unique opportunity to talk about expectations. A church with very low expectations tends towards a ‘smorgasbord’ culture. Members engage as much or as little as they wish. Some hardly eat at all. In churches with strong cultures, leaders never pressure new members, but they do call for ‘active participation’. They urge new members to engage in ‘what we do around here’. They expect people to . . . dare I say it . . . make an effort, turn up, commit. Never forget, however, that creating a culture like this takes time and needs the agreement of your leadership team. Once you and the leadership team embody ‘what we do around here’, others will follow. A LITTLE HUMILITY Remember, also, that you require due humility. God has been working among your people for years. So, first, discover where God is already working . Where you see good things happening, encourage. Rejoice when the Lord does wonderful things in and through your people that have nothing to do with you. It is the Lord’s church, not yours. EQUIP AND RELEASE So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service , so that the body of Christ may be built up. Eph 4.11-12 Equip his people for works of service. This is your job description. To help your people flourish in the gifts they have been given. For some leaders—perhaps because of a lack of vision or courage—equipping simply means preaching a sermon each Sunday. This is inadequate. May I encourage you, therefore, to think creatively and boldly when it comes to the task of equipping. One-on-ones, prayer triplets, seminars, courses, even conferences that unlock the tremendous knowledge and gifts among your own members. There are many ways to equip your people. AVOID BURNOUT Plan to rest. And then rest. Properly. Living Leadership's Refresh services are available to help you make space to do that, you can also check out our articles on Ministerial Burnout for some signs and solutions. A WARNING ABOUT PEOPLE PLEASING It’s very easy to become a people pleaser. After all, your congregation—via the elders—pays your salary. They can fire you. But you’re not there to be popular. You’re there to lead. So you must lead with conviction. Not abusively and selfishly, but self-sacrificially and wisely. Together with your leadership team. You are accountable to one person only. The Lord Jesus. He’s the only one you live to please. ACCOUNTABILITY It’s nice to spend time with close friends who are believers. They will support you. But I’m not sure this rises to the level of accountability. Proper accountability involves someone who will ask you searching questions about your devotional life, your time, your body (sex), your money, your areas of weakness and shame. This takes a very special person (or persons), who will love you whatever you tell them. If you can find someone like this, you are mightily blessed. Otherwise, meet with some friends regularly and pray together. That’s better than nothing. NEVER TAKE A HOLIDAY IN THE FIRST TWO WEEKS OF SEPTEMBER Why? Because it’s best to cast vision about the new year . . . at the beginning of the new year! This takes place not in January but in September, when many return from holiday and a new school year begins. If you’re not there, you will leave an enormous gap where you should be. Your people seek direction and encouragement at the beginning of the year. They need to see you and hear from you. I think sometimes pastors should view God as Willy Wonka. Wild, immensely creative and powerful, unfathomable, and generous. As C.S. Lewis would say, ‘Not safe, but good.’ Following him requires a willingness to join him in an elevator that blasts through the roof. That takes great courage. So, as you grasp your golden ticket, be bold and unafraid, because he’s right there with you. Always. Grace and Peace, Richard * The titles of church leaders and their leadership structures vary across denominations. However, this post applies to any church faithful to the Lord, whichever titles are used.

‘I’ve had enough, Lord!’ I exclaimed out loud, as I flopped onto the grass. I was in the middle of a garden maze on the final day of a retreat. The frustration and weariness of navigating the twists and turns of the path seemed to mirror my own frustrations and weariness about life. A long season of heart-breaking hurdles had worn me down. So, the words exploded out of me. ‘I’ve had enough, Lord!’ It was the cry of a weary child, who was scared and unsure if she had the resources to get through the next hard season. But more than just an expression of exhaustion and fear, it was an appeal for the suffering to stop. Like a wrestler in the ring, who says, ‘I’m tapping out. I can’t go another round! I’m too wounded and weary.’ Have you ever felt like this? When we’re drowning in these feelings, it’s easy to believe we are the only one who has ever felt like this. Self-pity can threaten to overwhelm us, along with a nagging sense that we shouldn’t entertain these thoughts, let alone say them to the sovereign God of the universe. In that moment, we are faced with a choice. Acknowledge these feelings and press into them with God, or push them aside and pretend they don’t exist. Reapply the veneer of ‘It’s OK, I’m OK’, and carry on. For me, in that moment, I had no more emotional reserves to keep going and I finally had to press in. The Lord, in his kindness, met me in a special way, and reminded me that I am not the first of his children to say these words to him. HEY THERE, ELIJAH! In 1 Kings 17, we meet the prophet Elijah for the first time as he confronts King Ahab with the news that the land of Judah will face a drought ‘for the next few years’. We know little about Elijah except that he is a Tishbite and that he serves the Lord. Elijah’s life is one of twists and turns. Here’s a short recap. The Lord leads him to a ravine where he is fed by ravens. He drinks from a brook. ‘ Some time later’ , we’re told, ‘ the brook dried up ’, so he moves in with a widow and her son, whom the Lord feeds with oil and flour that never run out. ‘ Some time later ’, God answers Elijah’s prayers to bring the widow’s son back from the dead. ‘ After a long time, in the third year ’, the Lord sends Elijah to Ahab and he ends up in a face-off with the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. In one of the most dramatic scenes in the Old Testament, Elijah humiliates the prophets, who call vainly on Baal to consume their sacrifice. When it’s Elijah’s turn, he calls down fire from heaven, that immediately consume his sacrifices. His triumph is met with public acclamation. When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, ‘The Lord—he is God! The Lord—he is God!’ (1 Kings 18.39) Baal has been shown to be a false god. Not only that, but Elijah then executes divine justice by slaughtering all four hundred and fifty prophets. A highpoint in his life, right? Yet, he finds himself in immediate danger. On hearing the news, Ahab’s wife, Jezebel, sends a message to Elijah, telling him that she intends to kill him. Scared out of his wits, Elijah abandons his servant and runs for his life into the wilderness. It is here, as he sits under a broom bush, that Elijah utters the words I am so intimately familiar with. ‘I’ve had enough, LORD’. 1 Kings 19.4b In one way you can see why, can’t you? What a few years he’s had! He has antagonised a king, lived in the wilderness, declared a famine over the land, confronted disease, and gone up against the biggest religious powers of the day. Now he finds himself on the run for his life. Literally. What exhausting experiences. On the other hand . . . what a few years he’s had! He has served the Lord with great courage, and the Lord has provided for him in dramatic and miraculous ways. He has seen answers to prayer in ways few of us could ever imagine. In fact, because of his courage and obedience, God has responded by demonstrating his power and glory in ways that have literally gone down in the history books! So, what are we to make of Elijah as he collapses beneath a bush and calls upon God to take his life? How does the Lord respond? Personally, I have learned two encouraging lessons from God’s response. I hope you will find them encouraging too. Especially if you ever find yourself in despair. ORDINARY NEEDS MET IN AN EXTRAORDINARY WAY It may be stating the obvious but Elijah is physically spent. Scholars differ on the exact distance he ran but it’s much like an ultra-marathon. Or several ultra-marathons. During a heavy rainstorm, he ran about fifteen miles from Mt. Carmel to Jezreel. (1 Kings 18.46) After that, he ran from Jezreel to Beersheba—about 95 miles (1 Kings 19.3). He achieved this after a sleepless night on a mountain and years of famine. No wonder he’s exhausted. What’s more, Elijah is alone. In an ill-advised move, Elijah has chosen to leave his servant behind in Beersheba and travel a further day alone into the middle of nowhere. So, when he flops to the ground under a bush, there is no one with him to tend to him or talk to him. And yet . . . Though Elijah calls on the Lord to end his life, this is a prayer that is met with a resounding ‘no’. Instead, an angel wakes Elijah and invites him to eat some food provided by the Lord. Let’s zoom in there. God could have woken Elijah with a voice, but he had an angel do it with a touch. God meets Elijah’s loneliness with the tangible presence of the angel. Then the food. He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. 1 Kings 19.6a Freshly baked bread and a jar of water. You know when someone brings you a tray of food and drink when you’re ill in bed? It is more than just provision; it is tenderness and care. Elijah sleeps twice and eats twice, and this is sufficient to revive him. WHAT ABOUT YOU? I wonder how you’re doing right now? If you feel exhausted and are on the verge of saying, ‘I’ve had enough,’ it’s worth considering your physical condition. Do you need to hear God’s call to sleep and eat? Do you need to know God’s physical provision first, before you press further into God’s truth for you in this season? Perhaps it doesn’t seem enough—what difference could two good nights of sleep and a meal make? But just look at what the Lord is able to achieve. Strengthened by that food, he travelled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night. 1 Kings 19.8-9 Forty days and forty nights! After a little food and some sleep. I hope this encourages you. God is able to take a little, and make much of it. Miraculously and powerfully. He can do the same for you. LIES OF DESPAIR BANISHED BY GOD’S PRESENCE Elijah believes a lie. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too. 1 Kings 19.10b He believes he’s all alone, when in reality, he’s never been alone. This lie—that’s he’s all alone—is at the root of his despair. And what is God’s response? First, his presence. But not a powerful presence. He’s not in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire. He draws near with a gentle whisper. A still, small voice. Elijah knows all about God’s power; he has seen it first-hand many times. But what Elijah needs to learn is that God can also come in a whisper. There is a tenderness and intimacy here. To be heard, a whisperer must be nearby. You are not alone, Elijah. God is near. Neither, reader, are you alone. God is near to you as a whisperer, even in your despair. Nearer than a whisper, God’s Spirit is in you. Ask the Lord to open your eyes to see how near he is to you today. Second, God shatters Elijah’s ‘alone’ lie with truth and much-needed support. Go back the way you came … anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet … I reserve seven thousand in Israel —all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him. 1 Kings 19.15a, 16b, 18 You are not alone, Elijah. Don’t believe the lie. God has thousands in Israel just like you, and you have a new servant and companion, Elisha, waiting to succeed you in this mission. Go back the way you came and find them! Neither are you alone, reader. Don’t believe the lie. Through Christ, you have been brought into God’s family, the church. It is vast, covering the globe, and yet it contains individuals nearby who are happy and willing to draw near to you and support you . So, let me leave you with some questions: Do you believe any lies about yourself or God that could be at the root of your despair? Do you need to embrace more fully a particular truth about God and his plans for you? If you need it, is there someone from whom you could seek help today—a person who could walk with you as you seek God’s presence and provision? God was near to Elijah as he collapsed under that bush with his cry of “Enough!” God was near to me on the grassy floor of that maze, as I cried out ‘Enough!’ God is near to you as you cry out ‘Enough!’ May you receive fresh encouragement from him and find fresh support today. An important note from the author : My hope is that the above is an encouragement to the downcast. However I want to acknowledge that for some, the declaration ‘I’ve had enough’ can mean something more profound and life-endangering. (Elijah himself was asking for death.) If you think you might be experiencing clinical depression , including thoughts of hopelessness, or that it would be better off if you didn’t exist, and especially if you find yourself thinking of ways you could end your life—seek help, urgently! Contact your GP, a pastoral care giver or close friend, or call the Samaritans on 116 123 (who are available to talk 24/7).

Have you ever attended a service celebrating a minister who’s stepping down after many years of service? I heard this tribute that one speaker gave during such an event. ‘Listening to the congregation today, you have clearly taught us all to sing!’ It’s a strange compliment, perhaps, but an insightful thing to say, for you can tell a lot by the singing of a congregation. There’s an old story of a king who asked his stewards to go round the towns and villages to listen to the singing of the people. If the singing was healthy and joyful, so was the town. If the singing was feeble or mournful, then the king knew there was serious malaise within the community. JOY Congregational singing enables the local church to express one of the key marks and fruit of the Christian life—joy. ‘Joy’, wrote C.S. Lewis, ‘is the serious business of heaven’. Joy—that is, rejoicing, exulting, and praise . . . is the proper expression of the human heart when it sees with clarity the magnitude, certainty, and permanence of our salvation. But often ‘the music’ is a cause of conflict in church, and the minister knows this more than anyone. Whether it’s working with a music director and band or just a pianist/organist, there is often a struggle over songs and hymn selection. It could be over a new song, or the lyrics, or the placing of the song in the service. And there is one other significant–and often unrecognised–factor. Our own sense of self. BEWARE YOUR OWN IDENTITY If the minister’s identity is wrapped up in how well the service goes, then that comes out in tell-tale ways. When I was pastor of a large church, my friends noticed how often I felt the urge, mid-service, to go to the back and fix the PA system! Similarly, a musician’s sense of self-worth can be affected by a request to play a difficult piece of music or a song that requires a challenging musical style. When a musician’s vulnerabilities are exposed, we have a recipe for frustration and anger. THE PURPOSE OF MUSIC So, it’s worth asking the following question. What, biblically, is the aim of congregational music? One answer is provided by Eugene Peterson. Music enables a congregation to be attentive to God. We are moved from our own preoccupations to look to the one who made the heavens and the earth, our Redeemer and Saviour. But there is a horizontal connection too. Recently, after a service, someone complained, ‘I simply couldn’t hear the congregation sing!’ My mind went back to the services I attended as a child with my father in the RAF Wattisham chapel. It’s now a museum. Even on parade days, my father and I and the Station Commander were the only ones making a sound. ‘How can they not sing?’ I said, with all righteous indignation of an eight-year-old! The command to ‘sing to the Lord’ is joined by ‘sing to one another’. A couple of verses in Ephesians come to mind: Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Eph 5.18-19a When we sing, we speak out our hidden, heartfelt convictions about our God, and by singing them, we declare them loudly to each other, involving our heart, mind, and soul. In this way, we ‘gospel’ each other through a unique, reverberating means of communication—singing. It’s a beautiful gift from our heavenly Father. The question of ‘the music’ now becomes much clearer. THE CHALLENGE Both leaders and musicians must answer the following question. What can we do to help our congregation sing with all their heart, mind, and soul? With this servant-hearted aim, we will grow in wisdom about which songs to sing, and where to place them. When we are other-focused, we will discover an appropriate way to play, and at a speed that helps the congregation offer their hearts to the Lord. If the aim is to encourage the congregation to ‘gospel each other with the gospel’, then musicians will choose a key that suits most of the people, and not simply the vocalist. In a nutshell, the right hymn/song at the right time, with the right tune and pitch, is like a sharp arrow that penetrates the heart with the truth of the gospel. RIGHT SONG, RIGHT TIME On the first day after the Covid lockdown, when congregations were finally allowed to sing, I was at the Keswick convention. The band stood up to play the first song, and the opening strains of ‘Great is thy Faithfulness’ rang out. When we reached the third verse, the band stopped playing their instruments. The vocalists stepped back from their microphones, and hundreds of voices blended in harmony as the entire gathering sang a cappella. We declared to each other God’s faithfulness for the first time in many months. It was the right song, at the right place, played in the right way. In that moment, our horizontal encouragement raised our attention vertically towards our God. And it was beautiful. There was health, and wonder, and tears of joy among the King’s people.

I caught you! It’s the cry of the child, discovering someone hiding under the stairs during a game of hide-and-seek. Or the yell of triumph when a homeowner discovers a dead rat in the jaws of a mousetrap. It’s even a phrase that might come from the mouth of a conman, who’s tricked his victim into handing over some cash. But, in what circumstances would a minister possibly say, ‘I caught you’? Yet, like all the other phrases in this series, it is among the apostle Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians. He writes: Yet, crafty fellow that I am, I caught you by trickery! 2 Cor 12.16 (NIV) Is this Paul’s big reveal? Is he finally admitting that he’s been manipulating them all along? Sadly, some ministers are indeed guilty of manipulation. Worse still, this often comes to light only when they are exposed by courageous victims rather than by their own admission. But that’s not what’s happening here. Paul isn’t making a confession. That is clear from the context of his statement. Earlier, he reminded the Corinthians that he’s planning to visit them for a third time and assures them he won’t be a burden to them and does not want their possessions. So, Paul’s statement in verse sixteen is not his confession but the words of some in Corinth who were questioning his actions. The ESV inserts the words ‘you say’ to help us see this. I was crafty, you say, and got the better of you by deceit. 2 Cor 12.16 (ESV) Despite all he had sacrificed for them, some believers apparently believed Paul had manipulated them for his own gain. Paul goes on to remind them that he had never taken advantage of their hospitality, nor had any of the others, including Titus, who he had sent to them. Paul was not ‘crafty [ panourgos ]’. Quite the opposite! He had written, ‘We refuse to practise cunning [ panourgia ] (2 Cor 4.2). How painful it is for a servant of God to be wrongly accused of deception and manipulation. Especially when that servant has sacrificed so much for the sake of the gospel. Is any pain known to the human heart worse than betrayal? Yet, Paul’s experience – himself following in the footsteps of his Master, who was betrayed with a kiss – is shared by many faithful ministers today. Let me absolutely clear. There are ministers who mistreat God’s people, who use them as a means to an end. The word translated ‘crafty’ or ‘cunning’ in 2 Corinthians literally means ‘all deeds’. We might say ‘by any means’. It refers to people who will do whatever it takes to achieve their goals. They often think the end justifies the means. Their vision, usually presented as God’s will, drowns out others’ insights and overrides others’ consciences. They are often arch-pragmatists, caught in a web of self-deception, insisting that they are acting for the greater good when, in reality, they are acting in their own self-interest. Such leaders are like the ‘super apostles’ Paul writes about in 2 Corinthians. We must be on guard against such behaviour. It must not be tolerated. However, faithful ministers sometimes face unfair accusations. They are not perfect. None of us are. But they are genuine in their faith in God, their love for those they lead, and their desire to be found faithful when they give account to their Master on the last day. I meet many such people in my work with Living Leadership . It is a privilege to walk with them and encourage them on the way. It is heartbreaking to hear how many have been bruised by people who misjudged them. Sometimes, there is a kernel of truth in the accusation, but it has been greatly exaggerated. Occasionally a specific incident—for example, a moment of bad temper— has been generalised into a globalising statement: ‘You lack self-control’ or ‘You are intimidating’. Assumed motives are presented in the worst possible light. There is no attempt to see the good. Always there is a lack of grace. Where are those who will come alongside ministers gently to help them see their weaknesses and grow towards greater holiness? Who will intercede faithfully for them before God’s throne of grace? Where can ministers find a space to be open and transparent about their struggles without fearing graceless condemnation? Living Leadership exists for God’s servants and their families. If God has laid this need on your heart, perhaps you would pray for us, help support us financially, or even volunteer with us? The apostle Paul called out unfairness among the Corinthians. He did not want to defend himself, but he had to. Sometimes a faithful minister will need to do the same. If so, here are some tips based on Paul’s example: 1. REPEAT THEIR WORDS . Repeating exactly what’s been said about you, as Paul did, allows the words to be examined in the light of day. If the accusations are false or exaggerated, this will often become clear. This also allows the minister to respond in humility with an apology if there is anything that rings true. 2. BE OPEN . Approach accusations with humility. Don’t be tempted to generalise. Instead, admit your specific mistakes along with the ways you could have acted better. Remember that the way you confess your sins and limitations sets an example to others. If you think you need to explain the circumstances around what you did or said, don’t turn those into a justification for your wrongdoing. Rather, make a genuine confession of your limitations as a created being and an imperfect person. Paul was open about his weaknesses. We should be too. At the same time, it is right to affirm the actions you took correctly, yet without defensiveness. Sometimes judgements are simply false or unfair. You should not apologise for what is not wrong. The truth matters. 3. REMIND THEM . Once you’ve confessed any wrongdoing, it’s important to remind others of all that you share together. These are your brothers and sisters. They are your family. You can be honest about your flaws while also talking about your sincere commitment to those you lead. 4. INVOLVE OTHERS. It is better to involve others if the accusations are serious. They can help you gain a fair perspective. They can mirror back to you how you come across, and they might see grains of truth that you’ve missed. They can help you not to act from your insecurities or pride and to keep the issues in proper perspective, neither catastrophising about relatively minor things nor minimising what is major. Paul had co-workers like that. People like Titus, who knew his heart could help in his defence. Make sure you have people to whom you’re accountable. These are people who will know your heart, and whose words in your defence will carry weight. But beware. You may be tempted to involve only those people you know will support you – the ‘yes people’ or the ‘inner ring’. That is another kind of manipulation. You need people who will be committed to what is true above their commitment to you. These tips are certainly not a fool-proof safeguard against false accusations. They won’t always work. But we must do what we can to be transparent and accountable in ministry. We must renounce all underhand practices and seek to act and speak in the light. We must eschew the powerful lures of self-promotion and self-protection. We must glory in Christ and help one another on our way to godliness. Brother or sister in ministry, please never reach the point where you have misused or abused God’s people and so need to confess, ‘I caught you!’ And to those aren’t in leadership, may I urge you to encourage the faithful servants of God, and gently help them to be even more faithful. And to you all, as I close this series from 2 Corinthians, let me remind you of Paul’s closing words in this letter. May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 2 Cor 13.14

I’d like to introduce you to two of my friends. I call them Konrad and Waclaw. You can see their photo here (right). I became a reluctant user of trekking poles about five years ago. Before that, I’d seen people using them, including some very young people, moving at astonishing speed over rugged terrain. However, in my manly pride, I’d always thought, ‘They’re great—for those who need them.’ But then I tore my calf muscle, a running injury which then ran on for a long time. Every time I thought it was safe to exercise, it would ‘go’ again. Now, I had two things coming up for which I was desperate to be fighting fit. Or at least, dancing fit, as one of them was my daughter's twenty-first birthday party—a barn dance. I wanted to be able to dance with my daughter, stripping the willow with gusto. The other event, a couple of weeks later, was a rare trip to the Lakes to walk the hills. So, the party came, and I did dance, (you shall go to the ball!), though by the end of the evening I was paying for it. In fact, I suspected I'd set back my recovery. And the walking trip? I was going alone, and didn't fancy getting halfway up a mountain only to be rendered immobile. I was feeling gloomy and pessimistic. Then, at the back of a cupboard, I stumbled upon a trekking pole of my mother’s, discovered while clearing out her flat. To cut a long story short, I was astonished at what a difference this one pole (at this stage) made. I quickly acquired a pair and was away. So helpful were they that I’ve continued using them long after my calf muscle has healed. Why are they so helpful? Several reasons. I walk much faster with poles. There’s an obvious gain when moving over muddy ground, as the extra points of stability enable you to move your feet more quickly. Going uphill, it’s like having your own portable bannister rail. Going downhill, they’re even better, since they stabilise you while also taking weight off your knees. It’s that final factor where their lasting value lies; they take a huge strain off your joints. I see them now as an investment in my future (albeit my temporal future). Surely, if my poles enable me to continue enjoying God’s wonderful world in twenty-five years’ time, it must be worth it. So, I thank the Lord for my pole-ish friends. THE NEED FOR FRIENDS As on the hills, even more so in life. Boy, do we need friends! Bill Withers was absolutely right—we all need ‘somebody to lean on’. Friends provide points of stability. They help us when we are going uphill, and they’re there for us when we descend into the depths. Friends share the strain. Friends help us to keep on going and going and going. Why then, at times, do we only see our need for them once we’ve been forced into a debilitating situation? This shouldn’t be true for those in Christian ministry, but for some reason, it is. Is it because my generation has grown up with a rather individualistic pietism? Do we feel, somehow, that for Christian leaders, Christ should be enough? How out-of-step this is with the example of Jesus, who valued his own friends highly. Yes, they deserted him at the toughest point, but still he wanted Peter, James, and John with him in the garden. He valued not only their prayer support but also their physical proximity. (Matt 26.36-46). The apostle Paul also knew the value of good friends, along with the pain of abandonment (Demas; 2 Tim 4.10). Of course, friendships take time and effort. Sometimes they are inconvenient, and it may seem more efficient to plough on alone. But this is a false economy. DIFFERENT KINDS OF FRIENDS Friendship is like an array of multifaceted gems. It comes in different shapes and sizes. Maybe a handful of very good friends from our youth have stayed with us. These are to be valued very highly. It is definitely harder to make new friends later in life. I also appreciate the companionship of my younger colleagues, and like to think of them as friends. (They like to think of me as Grandad!) In addition, I have many friends in our church fellowship. I don't buy into the notion that the pastor should avoiding building friendships in the local church, though we’re wise to appreciate the dangers and limitations. In particular, there is something very special about friendships forged in leadership teams. They are often deepened by facing fiery trials together. A CLOSE-KNIT GROUP I’ve also learned to be intentional about building friendships with people with whom I can share, and who ask searching questions. I’m so thankful for my small ‘brotherhood’ group that meets every few months. I didn’t know some of them very well when we started, but (rather like a marriage) we committed to each other and now, after a dozen years or so, I highly value their support, encouragement, and friendship. When we’re due to meet up, it never seems convenient; I often think I can’t spare the time. Yet again and again, I come away thinking, ‘Yes, that did me good; I really needed that!’ I’m so thankful to the Lord for them. I’ve also appreciated various older men over the years who have listened, asked questions, and prayed for me. One of these friendships has fallen into abeyance recently, and I feel its lack. Outside the church, I have also come to appreciate the friendship of my hockey team-mates, most of whom are not believers. My awareness of our shared humanity certainly enhances my life. A FRIENDSHIP IN THE BIBLE One of the most touching moments in the Old Testament occurs in 1 Samuel 23. Previously, David and King Saul’s son, Jonathan, had sworn friendship to each other. Now here is David, on the run from Saul, hiding out in the Desert of Ziph. In verse sixteen we read, ‘And Saul’s son, Jonathan, went to David at Horesh and helped him to find strength in God.’ This was costly for Jonathan. Not only did he risk his father’s wrath, but by supporting David, he was promoting David’s cause against his own claim as heir to the king. But this is what good believing friends do for one another. They help each other to find strength in God. When that happens, it’s beautiful. GOD’S FRIENDSHIP Why is friendship so important? Because it matters to God. In John 15, the Lord Jesus holds friendship up as one of the most valuable qualities of all. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends . You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends , for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you. John 15.13-15 We are, of course, God’s children, but we are also his friends. And he calls us into bonds of friendship in the church. The Bible is clear. The examples of David and Jonathan (and Konrad and Waclaw) are also clear. If we want to continue in Christian ministry for the long haul, and if we want to live fruitful lives for decades to come, we’re wise to invest in friendship. For our own sakes, and for the sake of the gospel.

You may not be aware, but Families, Children and Youth (FC&Y) work in the church is facing challenging times. We (Claire and I) have both worked in FC&Y for many years, and recently, we’ve noticed some alarming trends. Here are some dots I invite you to connect: Adverts for FC&Y workers have risen. ⬆️ The number of suitable candidates for these posts has decreased. ⬇️ The number of times these adverts are re-posted has risen. ⬆️ Churches require multiple rounds of advertising until a post is filled. If at all. What’s the reason for this? Here are some facts on the ground. There are fewer youth workers going into training. According to the Christian Youth Work Consortium, total student numbers have fallen by 63.1% in the past thirteen years. 70% of youth work is run by volunteers. The rest is run by part-time or job-share youth workers—including curates and assistant ministers—most of whom have little specific training or regular support to do the job. Denominations short of pastors for adult ministry actively recruit from amongst those who started out as FC&Y workers. In 2021, Paul Friend (great name for a youth worker!) reported in Premier Christianity Magazine that churches shouldn’t be surprised by the drop in FC&Y workers. He suggested three possible causes: We haven’t invested in training. Nor have we valued it as we should have. We haven’t paid viable salaries or provided long-term job security. We see adult ministry as a promotion, and we reinforce that through our words and actions. OUR ASSESSMENT So, here’s our take on the situation in the world of FC&Y. Something’s not quite right. First, it’s not right that young, inexperienced interns are employed as ‘cheap labour’ on short-term contracts. Not only are they often paid a very low wage, but they have little to no job security. Second, it’s not right that churches fail to value FC&Y workers. Many churches don’t view youth workers as ‘real ministers’ until they ‘progress’ onto pastoring adults. And that’s wrong. That said, we see signs of encouragement. It’s not all darkness out there. There is light. In many churches, FC&Y workers are appreciated, loved, and encouraged. They are also given ample opportunity to develop their gifts in their chosen field. We thank God for these churches. We simply wish there were more of them. Over the last four years, we have been developing pastoral support for FC&Y workers. After talking to many people—FC&Y workers, leadership teams, ministers and others—here’s what we’ve learned: FC&Y workers are often dislocated from the top tier of church governance and staffing. Age, part-time roles, and the fact that much of the work is done away from the eyes of the adult congregation means they are ‘missed’. We spoke to one young youth worker recently who was full of ideas and suggestions but he was nervous about disturbing his minister, who had failed to diarise regular line manager meets. We don’t like to judge, but it sounded as though this youth worker was under-valued and under-appreciated. In spite of the point above, FC&Y workers often feel they’re being watched and scrutinised constantly. One told us it was like being ‘in a goldfish bowl’. Many in FC&Y work are stretched financially, which has significant effects. We know a family in which the father is a youth worker. Each year, he and his family rely on people to lend them their homes for holidays. In addition, they have little hope of raising money for a house deposit. FC&Y workers are generally very hard-working. They often go above and beyond the precise requirements of the job. In fact, many need reigning in. They need to be reminded of the need to rest. A single female children’s worker near us recently quit because she was so bad at switching off and taking time for herself. FC&Y workers rarely seek help. Instead, they just determine to do better next time. HOW CAN I RESPOND? Often, FC&Y workers avoid drawing attention to themselves. In response to difficulties, they just double down and work harder. Therefore, a proactive approach is best. We suggest that a regular meeting with your FC&Y worker is essential. Over coffee, ask how they’re doing. What challenges are they facing? Dig deep too. Ask about family and personal life, so that you can pray for them more effectively. As Living Leadership Associate newbies, we would love to draw your gaze towards the need to care for, love, and help those who are in these roles just as much as any other minister. Retaining FC&Y workers and supporting them is well worth the effort. Spiritually thriving workers in this area are more likely to create flourishing ministries and, in turn, kids, families and churches who are growing in gospel grace and the knowledge and love of Jesus. There aren’t that many older FC&Y workers like us but wouldn’t it be great if, in twenty to thirty years’ time, the church was well-stocked with long-serving, experienced, mature, well-trained, well-supported workers. And how encouraging it would be to see them not only serving families and churches but also cultivating the next generation of workers to whom the baton is passed. Is FC&Y work in crisis? It depends on where you look. Certainly, there are some encouragements: Organisations like GYD and Faith in Kids are faithfully supporting FC&Y work. Some churches do indeed pay reasonable salaries. In some churches, FC&Y workers have a similar status to the senior staff positions. WHAT CAN I DO? Scripture tells us young adults will prophesy (Joel 2.28, Acts 2.17). Furthermore, the following key verses provide wisdom on this issue. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Tim 4.12 Find ways to show how much you value your FC&Y workers. Encourage them (frequently), as the apostle Paul urges Titus to do. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance . . . Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. Titus 2.2,6-7a Right now, many FC&Y workers fit into the ‘young’ category. They come in many varieties. Some appear proud and self-sufficient, while if I’m honest, others can be flaky. What they need is love and support. And they need it especially because frequently they won’t seek it themselves. They just soldier on. So, I urge you to draw near to your FC&Y workers. On a regular basis—perhaps every Sunday—simply ask them, ‘How can I pray for you this week?’ That would be a great start. Editor’s note: Gareth Wroe and Claire Wroe are two new Living Leadership Associates. It’s a joy to welcome them to the team. They have extensive experience in the area of Families, Children and Youth (FC&Y). It’s a pleasure to bring their wisdom and insight about FC&Y to you in this post.

I love children. I love them for many reasons, but one of them is that they’re so funny. Here are some quotations to lighten your day. Did you know you’re always touching something? Unless you’re flying naked. (i) Evie, age 6 Simon to his dad: Tax day is coming up. Are you excited, or are you going to jail? Simon, age 9 Peeing is like riding a bike. You never forget how to do it. Lila, age 9 Why is the moon following us? Eli, age 5 Jesus loved children too. His culture may not have valued them very highly, but as we know, he often kicked against cultural norms. So, most of us are familiar with his words concerning children. 15 People were also bringing babies to Jesus for him to place his hands on them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. 16 But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 17 Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Luke 18.15-17 Matthew’s account doesn’t include verse 17, but there it is in Luke. As is customary with Luke’s telling of the story, he includes a detail aimed at challenging his readers. Reading verse 17, I certainly feel challenged. So, what does it mean to ‘receive the kingdom of God like a little child?’ GROWING Children grow. I have three children and one grandchild. All of them are still growing (and so am I). My grandson, Sam (11 months), has just learned to walk, and he’s so excited about it that he walks with his hands in the air. Look at me! I’m walking! Praise God! (He’s a budding charismatic, and he doesn’t even know it).😂 There are few joys to compare with watching a child grow during the first year of life. The stages come so quickly. Smiling. Rolling over. Sitting up. Crawling. Surfing the furniture. Walking. What a gift it is to see a child grow. Later, there’s talking and pushing and running and fighting and shouting. Growing becomes noisier and more complicated. And a lot messier. Painting and arguing and sharing and whining and building. All the verbs—action words. Growing. It’s what children do. (ii) It’s also a verb associated with the kingdom of God. The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field . . . The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Matt 13.24a; 13.31b Seed grows. Mustard plants grow. It’s what they do. The idea of growth is picked up by Peter in one of his letters. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen. 2 Peter 3.18 Paul also writes about growth. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Eph 4.15 I can’t escape the conclusion that when Jesus speaks about receiving the kingdom of God like children, he has in mind the idea of growth. However, when it comes to growth, there is a critical difference between children and adults. Children grow naturally. It’s the way they’re made. Our bodies develop over time and we grow into adults. It’s inevitable. As Christians, however, our growth depends on the choices we make as we live our lives of faith. Sadly, it’s possible for followers of Jesus to remain immature. This is not what Jesus had in mind when he referred to children. He wants us to grow. So, today, a few challenging questions to consider. Are you growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus? What are you doing to ensure that you continue to grow? Are the people in your church growing? How are you helping them to grow? INNOCENCE Why do children make us laugh? Sometimes, it has to do with innocence. They don’t know what they don’t know, and yet they still want to communicate their thoughts. Take this quotation, for example: I asked my five-year-old if he wants the baby to be a boy or girl . . .“I want the baby to be Batman.” Sounds reasonable, of course. Who wouldn’t want Batman in their family? The thing about innocence is that it evokes such a longing in us. I’m particularly drawn to children who break social conventions not out of rudeness or spite, but simply because they are so direct. They don’t know about social conventions (and that’s fine by me.) For example . . . "My mom says I should just ignore people I don't like, and well, that's you." Noah, age 8 Once we’ve grown up, we sense the need to control our tongues, fighting hard to avoid causing social embarrassment. Not so this five-year-old, who said . . . "I'II tell you what I'm going to do this weekend. I'm not going to put a shirt on. Probably not pants either.” If you look up ‘innocence’ in the dictionary, one of the repeated phrases you’ll find is ‘absence of guile.’ In other words, no pretence. The five-year-old who tells you he won’t be wearing pants this weekend has no interest in being socially appropriate. Because he has no knowledge of what that would mean. That’s why his words make us laugh. And when we do, there’s a part of us that wishes we could be just as honest. Some of us have a Noah inside screaming to get out. (I’m one of them.) We find all the pretence stifling. But there’s good news. We need to become like Noah and all those children quoted above. Because this is how we receive the kingdom of God. With an absence of guile. Like children. With an open and innocent heart that refuses to put on a front. For adults, this is called humility. This is why we find a related set of verses in Matthew’s gospel. Truly I say to you, unless you change and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. So whoever will humble himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matt 18.3-4 Children are innocent in part because they simply don’t know the limits of their knowledge. This gives them tremendous and hilarious freedom. Like Greta, aged four, who said, ‘I really love being human. But some days I really wish I could be a fairy.’ This is funny because children are innocent, unfettered by pretence, and this is beautiful. Sadly, we lose our innocence as we grow, exhibited clearly nowadays when we reach our teenage years. We become those who think we know everything when we know very little. Instead of remaining innocent, we come across as foolish and arrogant. And we often reap the consequences. Jesus knew of our propensity for pride, and therefore called his followers to adopt a childlike, humble approach to the things of God, embodied in his kingdom. But perhaps most importantly of all, our humility must be wrapped in the most beautiful aspect of childhood. PURE FAITH There are few sights more wonderful than a small child reaching up to a parent, expecting to be picked up. A child’s greatest need is to feel safe, and when they do, they develop a pure, innocent, beautiful faith. Mum and Dad (iii) look after me. I feel safe with them. So when I reach up, I expect them to pick me up. Now! You’ll notice that a key word in Luke 18.17 is the word, ‘receive’. "Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” When children ask, they expect to receive. Of course, they don’t always ask for the right things at the right time, but their attitude is one of faith. They view their caregivers as those who love and protect them, and so they place their faith in them, asking them to provide for their needs. Faith is both a gift from God, and the attitude of the heart by which we receive. This is really why we need to become like children. We need faith desperately and continually. It needs to be the air we breathe, viewing all of life through its prism. For only by approaching our God with the faith of a child can we hope to navigate this confusing, painful world in which we live. "Ask, and it will be given to you" (Matt 7.7a) So, if you desire to grow, and you lead people who also want to grow, then approach God as a child. What a beautiful irony it is that in order to grow, we must remain as children. Forever children. To grow and receive God’s kingdom, the Lord calls us to approach him with humility. And with the innocent, trusting heart of a child. Forever. (i) Quotations taken from various sites around the internet. (ii) – Sadly (and sometimes tragically), there are medical conditions that can affect growth. Cushing’s syndrome, Turner syndrome, and Russell-Silver syndrome can affect growth, as well as achondroplasia, which results in dwarfism. These conditions are relatively rare, however, and most human beings do experience normal, expected growth. (iii) – Most children are cared for by their parent(s). Other kinds of caregivers are, of course, possible.

A while back, a minister recounted to me how a spell of illness had brought him closer to God. It freed him from the besetting sense that he needed to achieve more. He found himself limited in his capacities, and the pressure to keep doing more was relieved. Now that he is in better health, he is struggling to retain the lesson. I can certainly identify with that. Perhaps you can too. Yet it is rare to hear ministers confessing their weaknesses. I learned my own lesson about weakness when I was afflicted with a long-term illness in my twenties and early thirties. It is one of those conditions people in my part of the world would call ‘rare as hen’s teeth’. One in a million or less. Trust me to be odd! Two things about the illness were especially difficult. WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?! Firstly, because it was so rare, it took a long time to receive a diagnosis. I saw consultants in four different specialties and had several investigations. At first, there was a real fear that I had cancer. It was a relief to discover I did not, but after that, there was just confusion. Strange as it may seem, I reached a diagnosis myself by reading a medical text book. (I was a junior doctor at the time). I remember the relief when I discovered I was not the only person to have these symptoms. It was even greater when I finally found a consultant who had heard of the condition (although he had never had a patient). INEXPLICABLY UNRELIABLE The second challenge was the condition itself. It came on me suddenly in episodes that left me unable to work for a week or more. I found it hard to explain exactly why I was ill. As someone who took pride (to an unhealthy degree) in my dependability, I was reduced to being inexplicably unreliable. Although these episodes were sporadic and I remained dependable between them, I lived with the constant awareness that my plans could be blindsided at the last minute. That was frightening and humbling at the same time. I am thankful that after years of suffering, the Lord has now removed this affliction from me. But I am also thankful for what I learned through it. I came to trust less in myself and more in the Lord. I learned to rely on his grace more fully. I came to see that I am dispensable, and that any part I may play in his glorious purposes is a gift of his glorious grace. THORN IN THE FLESH My experience was not dissimilar from that of my apostolic namesake. I’m sure you remember the passage in 2 Corinthians in which he writes of his ‘thorn in the flesh’. His account is fascinating. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 2 Cor 12.7b ‘I was given’ indicates that it’s a gift. But it’s also ‘a messenger from Satan’. I find this dual perspective hugely reassuring. Painful experiences are opportunities for Satan to harm us, but our loving Father also uses them to discipline us for godliness. Equally comforting are the words Paul heard Christ say to him in his torment: My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. 2 Cor 12.9a In my own suffering, I came to see the grace of God as sufficient. I believe I also glimpsed something of the manner in which Christ’s power was made perfect in my weakness. It became more evident to me, and to others, that I gained nothing by trying to place confidence in myself. Instead, my confidence and that of others who depended on me had to be in Christ. The apostle Paul writes about this to the Corinthians: Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12.9b-10 I do not know if I got as far as the apostle in my lesson in weakness. I am not sure I can say I delighted in it. I certainly did not boast about it. I tried to hide it. I was ashamed. Living in the era of modern scientific medicine, and after receiving medical training, I believed (irrationally perhaps) that unless I had a diagnosis, my illness was somehow not real. Or at least I believed that others would form that opinion, including my colleagues. Even when I received a diagnosis, I still felt shame because, due to its rarity, the cause and the mechanism of the illness are so poorly understood. It is only in the last two or three years, over fifteen years since the illness has been removed, that I have mentioned it at all. TWO RESPONSES TO AVOID Besides my shame, there was another reason for my reluctance to speak of it. I have heard Christian leaders speak about their weakness in two particularly unhelpful ways. Some manipulate others by turning it into a shield against criticism. We can’t challenge our pastor because he is weak and we might hurt him . Others present themselves with false humility. Look what I have achieved despite my weakness . I did not want to fall into either trap. If I’m honest, however, my shame and my fear of telling others about my illness were due to my pride. I didn’t want people to think I was weak. I don’t mind confessing that I still take too much pride in my dependability. I still have a lot to learn from the apostle Paul’s example. Of course, if he heard me say that, he would simply point to a greater teacher. For the way of divine strength revealed in human weakness is the way of Christ. There is divine power entrusted to us—power to demolish strongholds (2 Cor 10.4-5), but this power is not in us. Even when we use the gifts entrusted to us, the power comes from Christ and the word of his gospel. Our weakness is the dark background against which the light of the gospel shines more brightly. So, we should not pretend to be strong. We are not, and that is okay, because we have a mighty Saviour. I am still learning what this means in practice. I think, at the very least, it means three things: MORE JESUS - I will talk much about Jesus—his perfection, his achievements, and his glorious might—and little about me and my experiences of him. I want him to be seen as the true hero of all my stories. As he is of my overall life story. MORE GRACE - I will take care to remind people as often as possible that any strength (ability, quality, achievement) they see in me is a gift of God’s grace. He is the one who deserves the glory, for who praises the recipient of a gift rather than the giver? MORE HUMILITY - I will try to learn appropriate disclosure about my own weaknesses. Following Paul’s pattern in 2 Corinthians 12, I will not be too specific about it (his phrase ‘thorn in the flesh’ is famously and suitably vague) and I will take care not to allow it to become a shield against criticism or a cover for false humility. So, as we serve our Lord, let us delight in our weakness. Indeed, like the apostle Paul, let us boast. Not for our own sakes, but for the sake of Christ. For when we are weak, then we are strong.

I wonder where you live. I’m not referring to your postcode. I’m talking about your internal life, the territory where your thoughts and preoccupations roam free. Years ago, I spent most of my time—my speaking, my writing—in grace-land. It was a delightful place to inhabit. What is better than speaking and writing about the wonder of God’s love and grace? However, in recent times, my work has taken me into a murkier environment. I’ve been giving attention to the issue of when leadership goes wrong. And that is poisonous territory. That is poison-ville. IT MATTERS WHERE YOU DWELL Where we dwell makes a big difference. Recently, I've had a sense of the Lord saying to me that I need to remove myself from poison-ville and return to grace-land. The following verses from the psalms have spoken very clearly to me. Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong . . . Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Ps 37.1,3 The word ‘fret’ communicates the idea that we are going round and round in our heads, reheating our fears and worries, nursing our resentments, letting toxins incrementally build up in our hearts. By contrast, ‘enjoy safe pasture’ is a phrase to do with shepherding and security. The rest of the psalm tells us how to do that, but David's first injunction is this one: Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart Ps 37.4 Instead of fixating on things that are poisonous to our souls, we should nurture our security by delighting ourselves in the Lord. The psalmist will go on to urge his readers to ‘hope in the Lord’, ‘be still before the Lord’, and ‘wait patiently for him.’ Trusting, delighting, and hoping in the Lord are the things that place boundaries on the toxicity. In fact, they protect us from the harm that comes from a poisonous environment. The truth is, a poison can spread in the soul, but grace is the great antidote. Indeed, it is the anti-virus that has the power to eliminate the toxins. But it is a battle. Every day, we have a choice to make—whether to live in grace-land or remain in poison-ville. Which is getting the upper hand in your heart at the moment? In pastoral ministry there is no avoiding toxicity. We spend lots of time with people who face many struggles and suffer on a daily basis. Not only this, but we spend far more time with people in pain than most are aware of. And, unlike other caring professions, many of us do so without the kind of pastoral supervision that would help us to detox. By my calculations, after about fifteen years in ministry, most leaders’ toxic waste bucket is full to the brim. Little wonder that so many leave after roughly fifteen years. TOWARDS A SOLUTION Isn’t exposure to this kind of toxicity simply inevitable in pastoral ministry? Yes . . . and no. Certainly, a calling to lead the people of God entails exposure to painful and challenging issues. Marriage breakdown and family strife among church members, teams falling apart, empire building, silo mentality, financial stress, you name it, leaders will encounter most of these eventually. But this isn’t where we should live. We want to live in grace-land! This is where we thrive. For sure, we need to put on our hazmat suits (AKA the whole armour of God) and go out to serve in poison-ville, but we mustn't live there. Sooner or later, it will contaminate us if we do not protect ourselves. We are no good to anyone if we’re covered in the filth and grime of exhaustion and cynicism. Either the fretfulness of Psalm 37 will seep into our souls and destroy us or we will choose a different path. That path is marked by grace and an unwavering confidence in God. It is chosen by those who saturate themselves in God’s righteousness, goodness, and love. For only when we allow grace-land to become the environment in which we live can we flourish in our leadership roles. IMBIBING THE SCRIPTURES We are always being formed by what we give our attention to. So for me personally, I am finding my way out of poison-ville by meditating on certain passages of Scripture. Right now, I'm reading very slowly through Romans 5-8, and it is like a refreshing tonic. Can I encourage you to do the same? Its emphasis on God’s grace is life-giving; the prominence Paul gives to the gospel’s power over sin and death never ceases to amaze me. These eternal truths blow my mind and explode my heart. Furthermore, they cleanse me from the effects of poison-ville. God’s grace detoxifies me, makes me whole and clean again. GRACE LEADS TO WORSHIP When we learn to take in the wonder of God’s grace, it can only send us in one direction. To our knees in worship. This is the destination towards which we are all headed. It is the goal of all the redeemed to live lives of worship, to devote ourselves to becoming worshippers who are pleasing to God. As Jesus declares in John’s gospel; Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshippers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshippers the Father seeks. John 4.23 We must make it our goal to resist the work of Satan, who likes nothing better than to discourage us and destroy our worship-filled lives. So we must resist the cynicism and despondency of poison-ville. If this post resonates with you, it's time to return to the healthy country. To grace-land. It’s time to make sure you are meditating on—indeed soaking yourself in—God’s grace. Ensure that grace has a more prominent place in your heart and life than the poison. It can be hard to do this alone, so you might need some help from others. Feel free to contact us. But make a decision today to set up home in grace-land. If you have left it, then return there, and never leave grace-land again.

Try googling the phrase, ‘leaders as gardeners.’ I did this last week, and my screen filled up with trillions of links. Quite a number came from management consulting firms, while others came from writers like Steven Covey (the 7 Habits man). There was even one from Richard Blackaby, who writes about Christian leadership. As you may know, several of my posts here have employed a gardening analogy, as I’ve sought to ‘dig’ (I can’t help myself!) into the lessons we learn about leadership from gardening. So you won’t be surprised when I tell you that my Google search offered up a ‘verdant field’ of ‘leaders-as-gardeners-shoots’. After a while, I was like a poorly tended garden myself—overrun! I was overrun with gardening-as-leadership metaphors—soil, the environment, showers, the destruction of pests, feeding, stages of growth—it was overwhelming. So I decided to go back to my Bible, which is much calmer and more ordered. An arbour instead of a jungle. GARDENS APLENTY As we know, the Bible starts with a garden—Eden—and it ends with a garden in the celestial city of Revelation 22. There are also two gardens in Jesus’ passion narrative: When Jesus had spoken these words, he went out with his disciples across the brook Kidron, where there was a garden*, which he and his disciples entered. John 18.1 Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid. John 19.41 Gardens are peaceful places. At the most critical moments in the life and death of Jesus, they are also places where significant things take place. As an avid gardener, I was drawn to the roles these gardens play in Jesus’ story. And I was further encouraged by reading about gardens in Isaiah: And you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. Isa 58.11b I AM A GARDEN There is a paradox in these verses—Isaiah 58.6-12. The Lord is calling his people to fast so that they might draw near and know him. And so they did. But for the wrong reasons. They were living impure lives, oppressing their workers and fighting with each other. God therefore calls them to fast for the right reasons. Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter – when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Isa 58.6-7 If they would do this, then the Lord assures them that ‘you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.’ (58.11) The water theme is picked up by Jesus in John’s gospel. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them. By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. John 7.38-39a JESUS IS A PLANT Jesus employs a horticultural metaphor in his famous teaching in John 15. He describes himself as a vine (15.1) and calls those who believe in him branches (15.2). We, as branches, grow and produce fruit only when we abide in Christ. Life, health, and fruitfulness flow from the vine itself (Christ) to the branches (those who believe). So we must abide in Christ at all times in order to produce good fruit. GOD IS A GARDENER In John 15, when Jesus describes his Father as the vinedresser, we can see that he is borrowing from Isaiah’s prophecy. I will sing for the one I love a song about his vineyard: my loved one had a vineyard on a fertile hillside. He dug it up and cleared it of stones and planted it with the choicest vines. He built a watchtower in it and cut out a winepress as well. Then he looked for a crop of good grapes, but it yielded only bad fruit. Isa 5.1-2 The work of the vinedresser is to maximise fruit production. So when he sees that the crop produces ‘bad fruit’ he says, ‘it will be trampled,’ and ‘I will make it a wasteland.’ The parallels with Jesus’ words in John 15 are clear. Jesus says that unfruitful branches will be ‘thrown into the fire and burned’, even worse than being trampled. Judgement awaits those who fail to produce good fruit. And this sounds frightening until you realise that the focus is on fruitfulness, not judgement. Jesus speaks to encourage his followers. He urges them to abide in him, telling them they are ‘already clean’ (15.3a). The pruning, he says, is to make fruitful branches more fruitful! Every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. John 15.2b Pruning sounds painful, but we know that when our lives are ‘pruned’, the Lord is removing those parts that are unfruitful. Pruning is for our benefit and for God’s glory, as Jesus makes clear in his summary verse. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. John 15.8 TWO LESSONS As I thought about the gardening metaphor and the number of gardens mentioned in the Scriptures, I learned two valuable lessons that I pass on now: SAMUEL RUTHERFORD Samuel Rutherford (1600-1661) was a great Scottish Puritan, who once wrote about God as a gardener and himself as a plant. The great Master-gardener, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, in a wonderful providence, with his own hand . . . planted me here, where, by his grace, in this part of his Vineyard, I grow. . . . And here I will abide, till the great Master of the Vineyard think fit to transplant me. Letters of Samuel Rutherford, p.93 When Rutherford was confined in Aberdeen and forbidden from all public ministry, he wrote of living in ‘Christ’s palace at Aberdeen.’ He knew that the same Christ ‘who sent me to the West and South (near Anwoth in Galloway and then Oxford), sendeth me also to the North’ (Letters of Samuel Rutherford, p.119). Where we are now is because our Father the Gardener has planted us here, and Christ the King dwells there too. As you consider your own situation—perhaps there are weeds or a struggle to produce good fruit—be assured of this. The Lord has also planted you where you minister. You are not a solitary weed, cast aside, but a plant lovingly ‘dug in’ by your Father, the Gardener. So abide in him. GARDENING PRECEDES HARVESTING Gardening is hard work. Digging, feeding the soil, planting, watering, weeding, pruning, and tending—all hard work. But it’s necessary before there can be a harvest. For the goal of gardening is to harvest. The goal is to produce good fruit. Without gardening, there is no harvest. This is how our Father has ordained our life here on this earth, in his garden. And when the time is right, and the fruit is ripe, the fruit falls from the tree. Harvesting is the easy part when the fruit is ready. But it takes a lot of sweat to reach that point. And so we garden, and the Lord in whom we abide produces good fruit in us and through us. So be encouraged. After gardening, a time of harvesting will arrive. Indeed, the Lord says it has already arrived! Hear his words in John’s gospel. Don’t you have a saying, “It’s still four months until harvest”? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. John 4.35 * Matthew and Mark mention the name of the garden: Gethsemane.