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Have you ever attended a prayer meeting for church leaders in your area? You may know the kind. As the reports are given, you sit there dreading your turn. Everyone, it seems, leads a healthy, successful community, with a schedule packed full of exciting initiatives. Your turn comes round . . . Our church? Er, well . . . Maybe, like me, you’re tempted to over-egg your report, omitting anything negative and focusing exclusively on the positive. Our evening service has doubled in size! You submit an upbeat report . . . to encourage others, of course. BREAKING THE MOULD At a ministers’ conference a few years ago, I remember a pastor who broke the mould. Before teaching from the Word, he began with a shocking description of the challenges he faced in ministry. The room fell deathly silent. It was one of those moments when you knew something significant was taking place. We listened in rapt attention as he spoke candidly about his struggles. Many of them we had faced ourselves. His words touched our hearts. We were very grateful for his honesty and courage. ON PATMOS When John introduced himself to his readers at the beginning of The Revelation, he reassured them that he was one with them in their struggle. I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and kingdom and patient endurance that are ours in Jesus, was on the island of Patmos because of the word of God and the testimony of Jesus. Rev 1.9 The location from where he’s writing is important. He’s on Patmos—an island for exiled prisoners, not a holiday destination. Conditions were harsh. Just as soldiers often form close and lasting friendships when they’ve fought in a conflict together, so John and his readers could relate to each other because of their shared struggle and suffering for the Lord. Two thousand years on, we still stand with John and the early church. Following Jesus with obedience and commitment is still tough. It’s challenging. It brings suffering. SUFFERING Suffering comes in many forms, and is faced by all humanity. Some is truly horrendous, almost impossible to put into words. For followers of Jesus in particular, however, there is a unique kind of suffering related to our faith. All Christians suffer from a daily struggle with temptation. Many Christians suffer the burden of seeing loved ones reject Jesus. Many Christians face rejection. Some are ridiculed at home, in their families, in the workplace. Christians suffer as they ‘stand against the devil’s schemes’. (Eph 6.11) He accuses, sows doubt, brings friction, encourages discord, raises suspicion, spreads gossip, spoils friendships, fuels wars, feeds greed, approves selfishness. The list goes on. Christians suffer for simply holding fast to God’s way. If this describes your experience, you are ‘participating in his suffering’ (Phil 3.10). We are brothers and sisters with him, and with each other. MEMBERS OF THE KINGDOM Being a member of the Kingdom of God is good. Really good. This is precisely what Jesus saves us for—to participate in the kingdom he is bringing into this world. But this also makes us very different. In his letters, Peter calls his fellow believers ‘aliens’ or ‘exiles’. We belong to a different world to this one because we live by kingdom principles, and this means the closer we follow Jesus, the more we clash with our culture. Hence why the apostle Paul urged the believers in Colossae to keep their eyes on heavenly things. Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. Col 3.1-2 What an encouragement. Since you’re a member of this heavenly kingdom, not only are you my brother or sister, but we’ll spend eternity together! PATIENT ENDURANCE Though we have important work to do here on earth, our hearts yearn for eternity. The writer of Ecclesiastes reminds us of this wonderful truth. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart. Ecc 3.11a C.S. Lewis picked up the same theme in his writings. The fact that our heart yearns for something earth can’t supply is proof that Heaven must be our home. Life can be tough. Very tough. But our suffering—and the suffering of those we love—is not without purpose. Indeed, as we develop patience, it is converted into endurance, the ability to remain faithful whatever we face in life. Believers in the first century faced unbearable suffering at times—persecution, loss of property, loss of life. The apostle Paul, as we know, was among those who were flogged, imprisoned, and stoned. He knew what it meant to suffer for the sake of his Lord, so to encourage others, he reminded them of their ultimate hope. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory. Eph 1.13b-14 What an encouragement his words can be to us. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Rom 12.12 Oh, but my fellow voyager, maybe you’re feeling at the very end of your tether. Perhaps the struggle has simply become too much for you, and you’re just about ready to give up. Do not be down-hearted. For there is hope. The apostle John describes the extraordinary moment when he saw a vision of his risen Lord. When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades. Rev 1.17-18 The Jesus, on whose shoulder John rested his head at the last supper, now stood before him with such terrifying glory that he simply fell at his feet as though dead! Yet it’s what happens next that fills me with hope. He placed his right hand on me . . . Jesus stooped down to John on the ground and placed his hand on him. What an amazing image that is of our Lord ministering to his servant in his abject weakness. But then, listen to his next words. Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys to death and Hades. Rev 1.17b-18 My friend, the message of Revelation is simply that Jesus wins! In fact, he has already won, he is our Champion, he has gone before us. In him we have the victory. So be encouraged. He will never leave you, never forsake you. And if you ever reach a point when it all seems hopeless, call to mind this stunning image of our Saviour stooping to lift his servant, John. He will lift you too. He will lift you with his words of life. For he is faithful, good, and true.

I have a right not to be offended! That seems to be the view in modern Western culture of ‘expressive individualism’[1]. The logic of expressive individualism goes like this. My greatest need is to be authentic as my best self (self-actualisation[2]). The real ‘me’ is the ‘me’ of my inner thoughts, feelings and desires. To be happy and fulfilled, I must discover the real ‘me’ and be true to myself. To be true to myself, I must express the inner ‘me’ to the world. This approach to the pursuit of happiness has implications for society. If I cannot express myself authentically, then I suffer harm. So, society must grant me complete freedom (so long as I don’t harm others). But we’re increasingly told that tolerating others is not enough. We have a duty to affirm others in their self-expression and sense of identity. To offend someone by disagreeing with their inner sense of self is not merely arrogant, but and act of aggression. REBUKE IS NOT UNLOVING These values play out daily on social media and in public discourse, and we Christians are not immune to them. In recent years, I have observed a tendency for Christians to approach conflict with the assumption that if words cause offence, they must be wrong. Or at least, if our tone is anything less than gentle, we’re in the wrong. Rather than engaging with questions of right and wrong, truth and falsehood, the discussion remains in the realm of feelings. Everyone is hurt. We just need to be kind to each other. Against this background, the apostle Paul’s words to the Corinthians are profoundly counter-cultural. Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. 2 Cor 7.8a We might expect Paul to apologise for the hurt he caused the Corinthians, but he knew there is something more important than hurt feelings. There is one to whom we must give an account (2 Cor 5:9-11). The apostle had written to the Corinthians because of sin in the community. He called them to repent, and he did not enjoy doing so. Indeed, he regretted hurting them for a time, until he heard about his letter’s result. He says their sorrow was ‘godly’. When we grieve at sin and its effects, we are aligned with the heart of God. Such grief leads us closer to our Saviour. Their godly sorrow led the Corinthians to repentance, and this birthed within them an eagerness to do what is right. This is life-giving grief. The person who provokes such grief is not harming them. It is the work of God. The apostle Paul says as much. You became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. 2 Cor 7.9b Living in our offence-averse culture, Christians ministers may shy away from confronting sin. We want to maintain harmony and live at peace with others. This is all well and good. However, if we become people-pleasers who avoid challenging damaging sinful behaviours, then we leave vulnerable people at the mercy of these behaviours. Rebuke is not unloving. Listen to the Lord Jesus addressing the church in Laodicea. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Rev 3.19 Perhaps you respond by arguing that this a role uniquely assigned to the Lord. Not according to the New Testament. Here’s the apostle Paul instructing his co-labourer, Timothy. Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. 2 Tim 4.2 We read a similar message in the book of Proverbs. Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Prov 27.5 James goes further and writes of the value of rebuke. Remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins. James 5.20 Rebuke is not unloving. Dietrich Bonhoeffer helpfully reminds us that the unloving thing is to ignore sin. Nothing can be more cruel than the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin.[3] So, how much do you love the people the Lord has entrusted to your care? GENTLE . . . OR NOT? Perhaps you might argue that such challenges should be done gently so as to minimise the risk of hurt. Certainly, gentleness should be our default tone when confronting a brother or sister. As the apostle Paul wrote, ‘if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently’ (Gal 6.1). There is a time, however, when gentleness is not appropriate. When people are stubbornly set in a pattern of sin, or when their error is causing harm or contradicting the gospel, we need to follow Paul’s advice to Titus in his ministry in Crete. He writes, ‘rebuke them sharply.’ (Titus 1.13). The word translated ‘sharply’ —apotomós—derives from the verb ‘to cut’—temnó. It could be translated ‘cutting’ or ‘abruptly’ or ‘curtly’. This word is found in only two places in the New Testament—here in Titus 1 and, unsurprisingly, in 2 Corinthians, when Paul writes that he does not want to be ‘harsh’ in using his authority (2 Cor 13.10). The godly minister does not want to bring a sharp rebuke but will do so if necessary. In Crete, a sharp rebuke was necessary because the believers there were stuck in cultural tendencies to be dishonest, stubborn, and lazy (Titus 1.12). In Corinth, it was needed because of the destructive sexual sins being tolerated there. Paul also modelled this more urgent approach when he opposed Peter to his face (Gal 2.11). He did this because the matter in hand was too serious for gentle correction. These sharp rebukes were needed because the people were resistant to a more gentle approach or the situation was urgent. If you see someone teetering towards the edge of a cliff, you don’t say gently, ‘Excuse me, but you may be in danger’. You cry out with urgency. A sharp rebuke is an urgent cry to help someone avoid disaster. How do we decide whether a gentle correction or sharp rebuke is in order? We should consider five things. What is the issue? Is it sin, division, or gospel unfaithfulness (and not just my own opinion)? How serious? Are the potential consequences bad enough to need a swift and decisive intervention? What is going on inside me? How pure are my motives? Am I angry or prideful? To whom am I speaking? Are they able to take a sharp rebuke? Have they been repeatedly resistant to correction? What is our relationship? Do they know I love them? Do they trust and respect me as a person who is godly and caring? If we decide to rebuke the person sharply, we should consider how best to do so. The following suggestions may be helpful. Have the conversation in private or with one trusted witness. I suggest that it’s essential to include another person, if you are confronting a vulnerable person or someone of the opposite sex. Keep your focus on the issue that necessitates the rebuke. Don’t drift onto other tangential matters. Don’t judge the person’s motivations. Avoid words like ‘always’ and ‘never’. Commend the person for the good things you see in them, and remind them of their past faithfulness. Be aware of the tone of your voice. Do not raise your voice. Listen well to their response, even if they are defensive. Assure them of your love and openness to future conversations. With humility, be open to criticism. Ensure the grace of God and his forgiveness are always central in the conversation. Deciding when and how to rebuke others is not straightforward. We must be patient and prayerful. Wisdom is needed. But we should not be afraid of hurting someone or losing our relationship with them. The apostle Paul faced just such a fear when writing to the Corinthians, but he still rebuked them. Of course, rebuke is much easier in a culture of mutual encouragement. We need to create a culture of this kind, because when people know we love and support them, they are much readier to receive our challenging words. But this isn’t just about others. It’s also about us. How often do we justify our own behaviour? How open are we to hearing words of correction? Do we value obedience and truth above our position and feelings? Only with an attitude of humility and by God’s grace can we build a culture that includes rebuke. In both giving and receiving the gift of correction, we are called to set our fears and our pride aside. We do so for the sake of our Lord. Expressive individualism is a term coined by American sociologist, Robert Bellah, and popularised by Canadian philosopher Charles Taylor. It is critiqued from a Christian perspective by Carl Trueman in The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self. The term ‘self-actualisation was coined by therapist Kurt Goldstein and popularised by Abraham Maslow as the pinnacle of his ‘hierarchy of needs’. Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1954) Life Together, trans. by John W. Doberstein. San Francisco: HarperOne. p.105

Where do you live? In your head, I mean. The past, the present, or the future? GLORY DAYS My wife and I like to joke about our ‘glory days!’ These days are now so far in the past, they are almost recorded on papyri. Yes, I’m talking about the 1970s and early 1980s. At school—a small school, it must be admitted—I was the outstanding athlete. I was captain of almost every team, won every award, and loved every minute. But then I left that school, and went to one three times the size. Suddenly, it wasn’t so easy. Aside from tennis, the prizes dried up. As for my wife, Bettina, she was very quick in her teenage years. She was on every athletics team, played basketball, and flourished academically. She won numerous prizes. But then she grew up. This is now all in the past, and we both view these years through rose-tinted spectacles, perched on our aging noses! Nostalgia, huh? It’s not what it used to be. 😉 TIME Though we live in the present, it is extremely hard to stay there. Our minds are inevitably drawn forwards and backwards. Looking back can lead to regret, while looking forward can lead to anxiety. What does the Bible teach? It certainly takes a view on this issue. A very clear view. THE PAST In the Old Testament, whenever Yahweh wanted to remind his people of his character, he would point backwards to one singular event: the Exodus. It’s the headline statement that forms the basis for the Ten Commandments. And God spoke all these words: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. “You shall have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20.1-3 Not only is it in the Torah, but it’s a theme that occurs in the Psalms, the histories, and the prophets. You brought your people Israel out of Egypt with signs and wonders, by a mighty hand and an outstretched arm and with great terror. Jer 32.21 I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt. Open wide your mouth and I will fill it. Ps 81.10 All this took place because the Israelites had sinned against the Lord their God, who had brought them up out of Egypt from under the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. 2 Kings 17.7 In the Old Testament, the repeated reminder of the Exodus highlighted the character of Yahweh as a saving, covenant God. His saving act, bringing his people out of slavery into freedom, is the basis for the covenant he makes with them. Sadly, it was often a reminder used to call them back from their apostasy. Nevertheless, it signals an important aspect of the way in which God communicates with his people. History matters. It really matters. God stakes his reputation on an historical event, and repeatedly emphasises the historicity of this event to shine a light on the kind of God he is. A saving God. A covenant God. A faithful God. His attributes flow from his actions. When we get to the New Testament, the same methodology continues. The writers emphasise an historical event to demonstrate the character of God. Here is Peter explaining the healing of a lame man to the Sanhedrin. It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed. Acts 4.10b Whenever the apostle Paul preached, he always focused on the Resurrection. This is how his visit to Thessalonica is described. As was his custom, Paul went into the synagogue, and on three Sabbath days he reasoned with them from the Scriptures, explaining and proving that the Messiah had to suffer and rise from the dead. Acts 17.2-3a As believers, we are urged to reflect on the past as a source of encouragement. Indeed, in our songs, we often refer to God’s actions in the past to help us cope with the struggles we experience in the present. Hence lyrics like these from You’ve Already Won. I don't know what You're doing But I know what You've done. I have chosen these lyrics because they connect the present to the past. Right now, we face all kinds of challenges, but we know whom we serve, and what our God has done for us in Jesus. So we hold on. This is how we should relate to the past. It is an anchor for us, because nothing can change what God has done for us. It is written in history and in our hearts. What about the future? THE FUTURE The Bible speaks of the future in glowing terms. We call it Hope. The Day of the Lord. The Day of his Appearing, when ‘he will wipe every tear from their eyes’ (Rev 21). In the New Testament documents, the future is held out as an encouragement in the midst of suffering. The hope of heaven serves to encourage saints who are being persecuted. There is an assumption in the apostle Paul’s writing, in particular, that followers of Jesus will face persecution for their faith. Back in the first century, they were flogged, had their property taken, and paid with their lives. How are we to view the future? It contains a certain hope, which should lead us to engage with a suffering world. Heaven is never presented as a reason to withdraw. Personally, I take encouragement from the apostle Paul, who wrote this towards the end of his life. For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Tim 4. 6-8 As he longs ‘for his appearing’, Paul looks forward to ‘the crown of righteousness.’ He has kept the faith; he has finished the race. Such is the function of our future hope. It spurs us on to faithfulness. As the final lyrics of You’ve Already Won make clear, No more fear in life or death I know how this story ends. THE PRESENT Which brings us to the present. What did Jesus teach about the present? The Kingdom of heaven has arrived. The Kingdom of God has come near. Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. (Luke 6.20b) The present rule and reign of God has come. It is here. It is life, found in the Messiah, who brings in his kingdom, where joy, peace, and love can be experienced to the full. In the here and now. Jesus makes this clear in John’s gospel. I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10.10b This is our message. Life. Abundant life. ENCOURAGING THE SAINTS So, how do we encourage those stuck in the past? Grace and more grace. There is nothing we can do to cancel out our sins. However, grace tells us that our past is never held over us. The slate is wiped clean. Our clothes are now righteous robes, because of what Christ has done for us. The cross and Resurrection—past events—live on now in our hearts and lead to worship. How do we encourage those fixated on the future, who use it to tune out the present? Invite them into new life found in Jesus, the king. And remind them what their king is doing now. Not in the past. Not in the future, but right now. Two things stand out. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Rom 8.34b He is praying for us. Imagine that. He’s not stuck in the past or a distant thought in the future. He is praying for us. Right now. But there’s more. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. 1 John 2.1b The Lord Jesus is on our side. Our advocate, our protector, the one who represents us, and fights for us. Between what God has done for us and what he will do to display his glory, we live now in union with our Saviour, who prays for us, who advocates for us, who loves us. For we live now. Right now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow. Right now. This is where we savour new life in God’s kingdom. In the present.

You may have noticed that things have changed a bit in the blog recently. In our effort to diversify the contributors– and we really hope you’ve been enjoying the different voices – we have settled into a new pattern. In the first and second weeks of the month we continue to hear from our usual core writing team, Richard & Paul; on the third week we hear from one of our Associates; and then on the fourth week we hear from one of our staff team. But what about fifth Thursdays, like today? Well, on them (which happen about 4 times a year) we want to share with you where we are seeing God at work in and around the ministries of Living Leadership - what we are praising him for and what we are praying about going forward. We hope this is an encouragement to you too. Refreshing leaders and spouses in Hertfordshire and the Lakes At the start of this month, we had the joy of gathering with around 200 leaders and spouses across three Pastoral Refreshment Conferences (two in the Lakes, run in partnership with Keswick Ministries, and one in Hertfordshire). At Pastoral Refreshment Conferences we try to create a place for leaders and spouses to be able to rest, reflect and receive from the Lord. Some people come feeling worn out or discouraged and is our hope that they can find a space where they can exhale and experience rest and encouragement, others come as part of a healthy rhythm of refreshment that they have built into their life. Like most conferences, at PRCs we have a theme and this year’s was “The Way of Wisdom”. At the Central (Hertfordshire) Conference the teaching was brought by Peter Comont, a pastor from Oxford, and at the Lakes the teaching was brought by Ian Coffey, Baptist Minister and Lecturer at Moorlands College. One of the things that was really appreciated by many delegates was Peter and Ian’s honesty in sharing their own experiences of leadership and faith, both the ups and the downs, and the practical nature of their teaching. The “secret sauce” of PRC has little to do with us as the organisation running it: It is always such a joy to hear of how the Lord uses the conferences to meet people in a variety of different ways as he speaks to them through his word, as they reflect and pray with other delegates and the pastoral care teams and as they take time to be physically replenished. Here’s what some delegates said about this year's conferences: “PRC is when I come up to breathe and a spiritual MOT. That now I’ve discovered it, I never want to stop going. It feels like a lifeline” – PRC Central Attendee “A beautiful location, wonderful worship, great teaching and authentic, vulnerable fellowship all combined to provide real refreshment for this thirsty soul” - PRC Lakes Attendee As in all things, we also want to continue to grow these Conferences to be as helpful as possible to as many leaders and spouses as possible, so if you are a recent delegate (or interested person), we’d love to hear your feedback on what else we can do to make the conferences a welcoming and supportive an environment. Do get in touch – info@livingleadership.org Looking ahead: Refreshment Days With nine spring Refreshment Days and two Autumn Refreshment Days currently open for booking (with more to come), we are looking forward to a year ahead of being able to support more leaders and spouses to receive pastoral care and refreshment. This is especially a cause for celebration for us, as it marks a growth in the regions of the country we have been able to support. We are especially excited to host our inaugural Refreshment Day in the North East of England and further establish Days in other regions. We acknowledge that for a variety of reasons, Pastoral Refreshment Conferences are not viable options for some so it is our hope and prayer that the shorter Day format will still be an oasis for leaders and spouses, and that the Lord will be at work mightily to comfort and encourage his people. We’d love it if you could join us in praying for this work, and maybe even join us at a Day near you. Find out more: www.livingleadership.org/days Looking ahead: Growing our team We are currently looking to appoint a part-time Ministries Administrator. If you are reading this before March 2nd, do direct anyone you think might be a good fit to our website: www.livingleadership.org This role marks a small restructuring of our team, but we hope it will enable us to continue to serve more leaders and spouses in the coming years. We are also overjoyed to be further expanding our Associates Network, with four more associates due to come on board in the next few weeks (and a few more in conversation). This is particularly exciting as this increases the number of Associates we have in Yorkshire and the North of England, as well as increasing the overall capacity of the Network to support leaders and spouses. Please do pray for our team at this time of growth and change – that the Lord may lead the right people to be able to support leaders and spouses to the best of our ability. Find out more about our growing team: www.livingleadership.org/our-people For more updates on the work of Living Leadership, you can sign up to our main "update" mailing list: www.livingleadership.org/subscribe

That stone in the field you just walked past—did you notice it? Look closer. Smoothly edged, or perhaps slightly fuzzy? Dipping slightly towards one corner. Could that possibly be the barest outline of a head? Maybe ears laid flat along the topmost edge? Was that a twitch? Let me just risk a short, careful step towards it . . . aah! It’s off. Boy, can that stone move. I knew it. That stone’s a hare! LOVE THE HARES In the last few years, I have fallen in love with these astonishing creatures. Apparently, hare numbers in the U.K. have fallen by eighty percent over the last hundred years, and are still declining rapidly. However, I’ve seen far more on my walks than ever before. Living in Reading helps. Yes, you did read that correctly. Sandwiched as it is between extensive downland areas to the west and the gentle slopes of the Chilterns to the north-east, I’m within easy reach of decent hare-country, especially at this time of year. Last Friday, for instance, I came upon a field where I counted at least fifteen. It may have been more, but I wouldn’t want to inflate my figures with suspicious-looking stones. Two were boxing; others were grazing calmly; some sensed me and flowed away across the field. Watching them run evokes both awe and worship from deep within my soul; their Maker has done an amazing job. Here’s the thing. Having seen one or two, I have started to look. Really look. When out on the downlands, my eyes are constantly scanning. I’m certainly no expert, but I can now discern with more accuracy which stones might actually be hares. I’m getting better at knowing where to look and what to look for. Consequently, I spot them far more often than I used to, and when I do, it’s glorious. The more I see, the more I see. PROMPT AND RESPONSE Some of the believers I admire most are those who seem to be constantly hearing directly from the Lord. Often what they hear relates directly to their lives. A verse leaps out at them as they read their Bibles. When listening to a preacher, they hear from the Lord when many of us might dismiss the sermon as unremarkable. Sometimes, God speaks to them through their reading, or they hear from him simply by observing the world around them. Their lives are a constant, dynamic cycle of prompt and response. It strikes me that this is rather like those hares. The more you see, the more you see. As believers, we all have the Holy Spirit within us. He is active in so many ways, revealing the Lord to us, and working in us to elicit a response. In the Scriptures, we see examples of people being led by the Spirit—Simeon in Luke 2.27; Paul in Acts 20.22, and of course, Jesus himself in Matthew 4.1. The apostle Paul tells us that ‘those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God’ (Rom 8.14). He exhorts his readers to ‘keep in step with the Spirit’ (Gal 5.25), having told us a few verses earlier that if we’re led by the Spirit we are not under the law (5.18). Why are some believers more aware of this than others? FIRST RESPONDERS Firstly, because when they sense the Spirit prompting them, they respond. That sounds obvious, but this truth can also highlight a common failing among us. As I think of my own spiritual life, I carry regret for all the times the Lord has prompted me when I have not responded. Sometimes it’s because I didn’t like what he was saying and I’ve flat-out refused. There have been plenty of times when I should have been quicker to repent, quicker to mend a strained relationship, quicker to apologise. That’s true. But probably more often, it has been a prompt to reach out to someone, to speak or get in touch. In truth, I have hesitated, not quite sure what I want to say, and my hesitation has resulted in delay. Which has turned into failure to act. After a while the prompting dies down, and I move on. The opportunity has become a lost opportunity. Or so it seems. But I don’t want to leave you pondering my regrets. I want to encourage you. THE MORE WE LEARN, THE MORE WE LEARN I truly believe that the more we respond, the more the Lord will show us. The more he shows us, the more our ears become attuned to his voice. We hear the prompts more clearly. Just like my eyes scanning the downlands, or taking a moment to stare more intensely at a particular stone, we’ll start learning where to look. And what to look for. Our spirits will become more sensitive to the movement of the Holy Spirit. Of course, this comes in the context of a steady diet of God’s word and a life bathed in prayer. Without these habits, we are far more likely to be led astray by promptings from other places. The apostle John urges his readers to ‘test the spirits’ and we should be mindful of this advice. But with that admonition in mind, we should open ourselves to God’s voice. He speaks to us in all kinds of ways and from all sorts of places. After all, like those wonderful hares running through God’s good creation, the Spirit may seem elusive, but he is most definitely active in this world and in our hearts—moving, flowing, stirring up, smoothing down. Sometimes he is almost teasing us with a brief glimpse. Was that the Spirit? Will we look more intensely or just move on with a shrug? So here’s my challenge. How much do you really want to see? How willing are you to respond? For myself, I am asking the Lord to make me more alive to the leading of his Spirit. I want to be more excited about hearing his voice than I am about . . . well, seeing hares. And I love seeing hares! I also want to learn where to look and listen, and grow in my understanding of what it means to hear from my God, who loves me and guides me. I hope you’ll join me. I hope that, like me, you too will develop an earnest desire to respond. Without delay. If that means taking difficult steps, be assured that the God you serve is trustworthy. He will be with you as you respond obediently to his voice. I’m also convinced that as you learn and grow . . . the more you see, the more you’ll see.

‘I’d rather not be here!’ It’s not what you’d expect to hear from your minister on a Sunday morning. But this thought might be going through your minister’s mind. Living Leadership’s annual survey of the spiritual health of Christian leaders and their spouses regularly shows that ministers often feel like leaving their role.[1] Ministers’ spouses don’t respond much more positively. They often wish they could escape the unrealistic expectation that spouses come as a ‘buy one, get one free’ offer. Burnout continues to be a serious issue in ministry. On the day when I wrote this post, I was speaking to a leader who told me that half the ministers in his area belonging to his denomination have taken stress-related leave in the past year. Meanwhile, others have taken early retirement because they can’t face continuing. This is a major reason why Living Leadership exists. We want to help leaders and their spouses maintain a joyful life so they can sustain a fruitful ministry. What are we to say to the minister who wants out? WANTING OUT Well, it might surprise you to learn that the apostle Paul also wanted out and he was bold enough to say so. He wrote, ‘we would rather be away’. The use of ‘we’ suggests he thought this attitude was normal for a person in Christian ministry. It is almost as if he saw the desire to leave as a sign of authentic service for God. Now, some of you are doubtless suspicious of my use of Scripture here. Perhaps you think I’m shamelessly taking five words out of context. Of course, you’d be right. But I’ve done so to highlight the fact that a longing to leave is not necessarily a bad sign in ministry or in the Christian life. To understand why, we need to hear those five words in the wider context of what Paul wrote. So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. 2 Cor 5.6-10 Paul’s longing was not to be away from the Corinthians. In fact, by definition, he wasn’t with them when he wrote this letter. Nor was it to be away from the complexities of church life. His longing was to be away from his body and at home with the Lord. This isn’t the only place where he writes like this. Philippians 1.21-26 is perhaps better known. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labour for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Phil 1.21-26 It’s not that Paul had a ‘death wish’. As I read him, both in Philippians and 2 Corinthians, I think he loved life and ministry. He was committed to serving Christ. He wanted to see fruitfulness. But life was not easy for him. Opposition from without and unrealistic expectations from within. Conflict and tensions inside churches and a constant drift away from the gospel. People preaching from selfish ambition and pride in their own apparent strength. If any of that sounds familiar to you, be assured it was also Paul’s experience. So, how did he keep going? YEARNING FOR HEAVEN Well, he did not deny his desire to be extracted from these circumstances. He found in himself a deep longing to be away. But it wasn’t a longing to be away from Jesus. It was a longing to be with his Lord in closer union than he could know in the limitations of his fallen body. When we feel like we want to get away from the pressures of ministry, or of life, what we are really longing for is heaven. Our souls are crying out to be in the courts of the Lord. Our hearts are craving the beauty of Christ. Our bodies are groaning, along with all creation, in the hope of resurrection and glory. It’s vitally important that we realise this, because when we find this longing in ourselves, the enemy will whisper in our ears. He will tell us that we can quench our thirst in salt waters. We should give in to temptation and it will relieve the pressure. “Look, eat, taste”. The echo of Eden rings through the ages and through our hearts. In such moments, in our weariness and hurt, we must cling to the truth that only the living water that Christ offers can truly quench our soul’s thirst. It is the water of the Spirit who wells within us now. We can taste and see that the Lord is good as we meditate on him in his Word. But this is only a foretaste—the firstfruits of what is to come. This eternal view puts our present struggles into perspective. What matters in the final analysis is not the judgements of others now. Nor is it the demands we place on ourselves or those we accept from other people. What ultimately counts is the assessment of the Lord Jesus at his judgement seat. With that truth clearly before us, we must make it our aim to please him now, since one day we will see him face to face. Because of this, we can be of good courage. The right perspective is vital if we are to stay fresh in ministry. TAKE A BREAK? Perhaps, however, you feel this truth is too weighty. You are just too tired. If that is your experience right now, then I urge you to stop. Slow down and breathe. Literally, take a deep breath of air into your lungs, and as you do so, breathe the air of the gospel into your soul. Pause and ponder the person of Christ. Think of his words and his actions. Remember what first drew you into ministry. Of course, this simple exercise won’t undo your exhaustion. But it can be the start of recalibrating your life. If you are truly weary, then maybe you need to take some time off. There is no shame in doing so. For you are now clothed with a fallen body, not a glorious resurrection body. And that means you have limitations. I suppose your resurrection body will have limitations too, but the limitations of this fallen body are greater. So don’t think you can do more now than you can actually do. You need sleep, food, exercise, and rest. You need Sabbath—a weekly day of non-productivity when you enjoy God’s good gifts in creation and covenant. It is good to long to be away. And sometimes it is necessary to leave a ministry position. But remember that the grass is seldom as green on the other side as it looks. There is work to do in our own hearts, whether we stay in our current position or move to another. It is a work of grace, the crafting of the Spirit. He works within us as we hear his voice and say no to the demands of the flesh, as we boldly reject the enemy’s voice that says, ‘You can do more. You can be more.’ The subtlety of this lie resides in its partial truth. You can do more and be more, but not limitlessly and not necessarily now. The more will come when you are made perfectly like Christ, and are given a glorious body. For now, you can only do what you can do. You must not try to do more for Christ than you are made to be in him. So, remember that your deepest longing is for the presence of Christ and the fullness of the new creation. So long as you serve in this body, you must stick to its limitations. Not to do so is a kind of idolatry. It’s the kind exhibited by the false apostles Paul mentions in his letter to the Corinthians (2 Cor), who boasted in their own apparent strength. Instead, when you live within your limitations, you testify to your createdness and your fallenness. You live a life that testifies to the coming resurrection. It's quite normal to want out, but it’s only healthy when your longing is to be with Christ. Only when you keep your eyes on where you’re going can you figure out why you are here. Only when you long for eternity can you live well in the here and now. 1. Our survey of the spiritual health of Christian leaders and their spouses runs each year in the month of February. If you’re reading in February, we'd love your contribution.

Leadership is influence. Have you ever considered that? I read this in a Bible study a few weeks ago, and it’s stayed with me. I can’t shake the feeling that there is something profound in this observation. Perhaps this is because we so often associate leadership with the exercise of power. UNCOMFORTABLE WITH POWER Leaders are often uncomfortable with the word ‘power’. We know that decisions must be made, vision must be given, a culture created . . . yet strong leadership often generates opposition. Am I leading the Jesus way? Am I misusing my power? So, a natural response is to assert that we’re servant leaders. Which is absolutely correct, of course. Servant leadership was modelled by Jesus, and we follow in his footsteps. But we’re still left with the problem of power. Who makes decisions? Who exercises power? Isn’t it in the hands of those with formal roles, those who lead ministries? Pastors, teachers etc? It must belong to those with job titles. These are the leaders, surely. Perhaps not. Today, I’d like to suggest that leadership in the church often functions outside those with formal roles. Instead of focusing on power, we should think of leadership as influence. Let me explain. SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCERS Beautiful girl in a swimsuit. Handsome young man sporting the latest fashion. Professional photography—or not—and, what?! Three million followers? You’ve got to be kidding me. These, we’re told, are the influencers. A whole industry has developed around beautiful people able to attract sufficient followers on social media. They sell their profiles to companies, who then ask them to model their clothes, sunglasses etc. What’s actually happening? They are selling their power to influence millions of people. It has a financial value, because their beauty/charisma/lifestyle persuades others to follow. And those followers will then buy merchandise suggested or modelled by the influencer. They have followers. So did Jesus. And we are followers. Hold that thought. INFLUENCE What is influence? Here’s the dictionary definition. The action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc., of another or others. Influence is the process whereby we effect change in another person. But here’s the thing. In the church, this change should, if done in a godly manner, be aimed at producing at least one or more of the following. Correct doctrine. Christ-like behaviour/disciples who grow. Promotion of the gospel. If it isn’t doing this, it isn’t godly influence. Instead, it can sometimes become self-serving or even manipulative. Yet to the degree that we are living obediently and faithfully in relationship to our brothers and sisters, we are exerting influence over them—for the sake of God’s glory. Hence the emphasis on humility and service in the Bible and in the church. THE FLOW OF THE BIBLE In the Bible, God begins by using particular people in particular places for particular purposes. Abraham. Isaac. Jacob. Joseph. Moses. David. The prophets. This is how he reveals his glory and tells a story that leads to the Messiah. But then everything changes. The Lord Jesus arrives and the church is born. No more do we look for a human being to reveal God in spectacular ways. The Spirit has arrived and everyone, everyone who believes is given the job of living under King Jesus, and all that entails. This is why the concept of the ‘Christian celebrity’ is such a nonsense. Who cares if you’re the leader of a huge church?! The only thing that matters is the humble obedience of disciple-making disciples, who exhibit faith, hope and love. Social media influencers call attention to themselves to sell products. We should be the opposite. We call attention to the beauty of the Lord Jesus, shining a light on the awesome majesty of our God. And since we’re ALL called to do this, we ALL have influence. But perhaps you’re wondering why this should be linked to leadership? It’s really down to the purpose of the church and each follower of Jesus. Our purpose is to lead people to Jesus, to help them love him more, serve him better. That’s how leadership should be defined in the church. Leaders are those who lead people to Jesus. HOW DO WE INFLUENCE? So, how do we exercise our influence in the church? Words Actions Essentially, we influence others by the way in which we live our lives. And here, I think, we find strong backing from the example of the apostle Paul. He doesn’t hold back from using the word ‘imitation’. Here’s a line from his letter to the Thessalonians. You became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you welcomed the message in the midst of severe suffering with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. 1 Thess 1.6 He then follows it up with this line, which drives home the same message. And so you became a model to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia. 1 Thess 1.7 So, we follow the Lord. We obey him. We influence others to do the same. That’s what true Christian leadership is all about. And that’s why it isn’t just squeezed into formal job titles. We are all, in our different ways, leaders, because we all influence others. PAID STAFF I acknowledge that churches need paid staff. These people have job titles. There must be some kind of authority structure or there is simply anarchy. However, when it comes to the idea of leadership, job titles fade into the background. It’s influence that counts. Let me tell you a story. In Los Angeles, I worked at the American Red Cross Blood Services. It’s a huge organisation comprised of hundreds of people, all focused on delivering blood products to hospitals in Southern California. A man called Steve worked in IT, an unassuming, gentle man, who wouldn’t say boo to a goose. One day, he retired after thirteen years’ service, and they held a celebration for him. I still remember trying to find a space in the room. It was absolutely rammed. There were probably a hundred and fifty people in there. Steve’s job title was IT support. He had no authority at all. He just helped people with their computers. That was it. But wow, he had influence. Huge influence. Everyone loved him. He was gentle, patient, kind, and hard-working. So they came to honour and thank him for his service. There were bosses who retired during my time at ARC who were never so honoured. I know a couple who have served, and listened, and loved, and volunteered in almost every area of our church. I don’t even think they’re home group leaders. But the influence they have is enormous. They model patience, kindness, and love. They are leaders, because of the huge influence they have. Again, please don’t mishear me on this. I’m not arguing that job titles and formal leadership roles are not important. They are. But don’t confuse formal roles with leadership. At least, don’t confuse an official role with influence. This Sunday, look around at the people gathered in your church building. Who is serving faithfully? Who is reaching out to the disadvantaged? Who is praying with another? Who is putting away the chairs? This week, who will disciple another? Who exhibits faith, hope, and love in ways that cause the Kingdom of God to grow in the hearts of his people? These are your leaders. They are your influencers. There is no need to give them job titles. They already have a job title. Influencers for God’s glory. Otherwise known as . . . children of God.

When was the last time you felt really listened to? In the last month, when has someone asked how you are and as you replied, you felt they genuinely cared about your answer? Perhaps you’ve received real care because the listener has avoided turning the conversation back to their own cares and worries, but instead has listened carefully and patiently. I think we all recognise the value of good listening. And we know when it’s done well. At the end of the conversation, we feel valued, and our thoughts have become clearer. The tangles have been straightened out. I saw the benefits when I worked as a careers adviser to teenagers. My job was to conduct one-to-one interviews in schools and colleges with young people aged 13-19 years. For a small number of those young people, it was half an hour out of a lesson they hated, and they spent the time surreptitiously checking their phone until it was over. They also managed to take the most circuitous route back to class in order to miss as much of that class as possible. For others, however, it was clearly an unexpected gift. Here I was, offering half an hour of what one psychologist calls ‘unconditional positive regard’[1]. Without interruptions. They would unburden their dreams to me, along with their hopes and some of the challenges they saw ahead. They revelled in the fact they were not being judged and many (although not all) would walk out of that interview room having a clearer picture of their next steps in life. I don’t want to paint a picture that all that was required was a space to talk. Guidance skills alongside active listening and relevant information were also needed to help these teenagers. I also don’t want to underplay the very necessary training that counsellors and guidance professionals must undergo to help those struggling with more complex emotional and psychological needs. However, I do think that listening well is immensely valuable. It’s also a dying art. My husband and I pastor people in our local church and those in ministry. We both recognise the huge value in offering people a space to talk and find a listening ear. Listening, however, isn’t just the act of hearing another person speak. LISTENING IS A SKILL Good listening is a skill. It takes real discipline to avoid jumping in with our own agenda. We can be prone, at times, to think we fully understand what another person is feeling. We don’t. In addition, there’s often a strong temptation to liken another person’s situation to our own. Having done that, the next step we’re in danger of taking is to hand out advice in an attempt to solve their problems. Frankly, there are times when we want to ‘fix’ them. As my husband and I have grown in our understanding, however, we’ve begun to realise that this isn’t helpful. In fact, it can be harmful. A young pastor’s wife admitted to me recently that she had nothing to offer in her church because she wasn’t very good at talking to people, or knowing what to say when people unburdened themselves to her. She and her husband had just taken up a new post and here she was, on the verge of a new ministry, feeling like she had nothing to give. I wanted to encourage her that what people most often need is to feel listened to, not ‘solved’. The value she has the potential to bring is something which is applicable to all those who offer pastoral care. LISTEN. We can sit with people as they unpack their thoughts and attempt to ‘lay them out straight.’ A person gains clarity by simply describing the journey they’ve been on. PRAY. Together, we can approach our heavenly father, who knows every challenge we face. He is the one who can bring them healing and wisdom. As a pastor’s wife, I know what it feels like when people come to me hoping for wisdom and ‘tips on how to do life better’. At times, there’s an unspoken expectation that my marriage to a pastor has given me the ability to download, Matrix-like, the wisdom to mete out advice on all pastoral issues. But this just isn’t true. I don’t have special wisdom because I’m married to a pastor, I simply have what we all have—an ability to listen and pray. PASTORAL TRAINING Increasingly, I meet pastors' wives who are equipping themselves to care for their congregations by studying biblical counselling, spiritual direction, or gospel coaching. These are great things to add to our toolkits for pastoral care. However, in my current stage of life—and I'm sure in many others'—the time, cost, and capacity to invest in these courses isn't viable. But that doesn't mean we are not equipped for pastoral ministry. Not at all. We can all listen and we can all pray. We can come before the Lord with the person there in front of us, giving them the gift of unhurried time to be heard. We can approach the throne of grace with them, asking the Lord to help in ways that we could never imagine. Jesus spent a lot of time teaching and explaining God’s Word, but he also valued the people society deemed valueless. He made space for them to talk. He made time to hear the hearts of people struggling with ill health, of those with divided hearts, of those desperate to be made whole. And he did so in spite of his disciples’ best efforts to hurry him along. In Mark’s account of the sick woman, it’s interesting to note Jesus’ response when he becomes aware that someone has touched his cloak. His disciples’ response rings with irritation and incredulity. You see the people crowding against you,’ his disciples answered, ‘and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ (Mark 5.31). But Jesus ‘kept looking around to see who had done it’ (5.32). In spite of the crush of people around him, he gave her space to tell her story. And then, of course, he healed her. Jesus’ approach was unhurried and compassionate. He showed his love by listening first, and then acting. That’s how I’d love to shape my ministry and, in fact, all my relationships. James reminds us that ‘everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry’ (1.19). I wonder who you will meet this coming Sunday morning. Perhaps you intend to catch up with certain people you only see on Sundays. Or maybe you’ll be eager to rescue a roast from near cremation. Or perhaps you’ll have children tugging on your arm, whining to escape. The possibilities are endless. But to the person in front of you, your ability to listen is what counts. It’s the way you show them just how important they are to their heavenly father. Every second you spend listening well has an impact on a life precious to God. And it may change how they approach him, how they understand his nature. For he is a God who hears, and who cares. 1. Defined by Rogers, C.R. (1957). The necessary and sufficient of therapeutic personality change. Journal of Consulting Psychology, 21, 95-103.

Forgiveness is fraught with dangers. The culture around us does not understand forgiveness. Having abandoned the concept of absolute moral standards, it no longer recognises guilt as an objective concept. Yet we can’t shake off the feeling that we aren’t what we should be, and we find ourselves under the constant judgemental gaze of others. When we squeeze guilt out, shame rushes in to take its place. Far from being liberated, we find ourselves trapped by the expectations of others and the relentless pressure to be authentic. Tragically, there is no way out of this shame because you can please some of the people some of the time, but you'll never please all of the people all of the time. We cannot escape shame without dealing with guilt. Fortunately, however, there is a way out of guilt. That way is forgiveness. To find oneself forgiven is a most joyous experience. The release from guilt is truly liberating. To stand uncondemned, pardoned, and assured that no punishment awaits is the very definition of freedom. And forgiveness leads us out of shame too. When guilt is gone, we need not feel shame for failing to meet someone else’s expectations. Nor must we feel shame for failing to live up to our own. Forgiveness is at the heart of the gospel. There is an absolute standard of right, and it’s found in the character, will, and law of God. The gospel exposes us as sinners before a holy God. But there is a way for that standard—which can never be met in us—to be met for us, through the atoning sacrifice of Christ. When we realise that the truth and grace of God meet in perfect union in the cross, we can step into the light to confess our sins and hear the pardon of the only just Judge. Of course, pardon for sin is not the sum total of salvation. There is cleansing from unrighteousness and the transforming work of the Holy Spirit. But until we receive his forgiveness, we cannot know these blessings. Forgiveness is also the basis for Christian community. FORGIVENESS IN CORINTH The church is a fellowship of people bound together by a shared experience of God’s forgiveness, and held together by our habit of forgiving one another. The church in Corinth discovered this reality. This church, famously, had its share of sins, so forgiveness was vital for its members. In 2 Corinthians 2, Paul writes about someone who needed forgiveness. Commentators differ in their opinions about what sin the individual had committed. Some think it is sexual sin—the man described in 1 Corinthians 5. Others suggest it is a person, possibly a leader, who had resisted Paul’s apostolic authority. Either way, the person had sinned, and that sin had to be dealt with. Paul himself had said as much in an earlier letter.[1] How should sin be dealt with in a church? In the first instance, it must be acknowledged. Ideally, the sinner should confess it. If not, then others should point it out to the guilty person, in the way expected in Matthew 18 or Luke 17. In most cases, if the person repents, restoration may be possible without making the matter public. There are important exceptions to that principle, though. Firstly, sins which are also crimes, or which pose a threat to vulnerable people, must not be kept secret. They should be reported to the proper authorities and safeguarding measures must be followed. Secondly, there is a lower threshold for addressing the sins of leaders publicly because of their impact on the church (see 1 Tim 5.19-20). A blog post is not an adequate place to work through what that means in practice, but it is vital that leaders in the church are held accountable. In the case of Corinth, the church was clearly aware of the sinful behaviour of the person, but it did not act to deal with it until the apostle Paul insisted they do so. This caused him a great deal of grief (2 Cor 2.4) and put his relationship with them at risk. Yet Paul knew it was necessary. We would do well to learn from his example. Habitual sin should not be tolerated among God’s people. It seems that a majority of the believers in Corinth took heed of Paul’s warnings. They took action, presumably excluding the person who had sinned from the fellowship of the church. And it seems that this action led to his repentance. The apostle does not say this explicitly but I think it’s implicit in his concern that the man not be ‘overwhelmed by excessive sorrow’ (v.7). However, in spite of this, his repentance was not met with forgiveness. Paul writes, The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. 2 Cor 2.6-8 I don’t know why the believers in Corinth didn’t forgive this man. Did they have some incomplete appreciation of grace? Did they take a purgatorial view of suffering, thinking he needed to stew a bit longer to make sure he was truly sorry? Were they seeking to deter others from wrongdoing by making an example of him? We cannot be sure. THE UNFORGIVING CHURCH Few things are more crushing than an unforgiving church. To refuse to restore a repentant brother or sister is a denial of the gospel. It may overwhelm the person with excessive sorrow, and it consigns us to bitterness. We must be ready not only to forgive, but to extend comfort to the forgiven person. This means reaffirming our love, both verbally and through action. A caveat is important here. Paul is talking about restoration into loving relationships in which the person can grow and be kept in healthy accountability. He is not talking about restoration of position. If the man who had sinned had been a leader in the church, as some commentators say, then it is telling that Paul does not suggest he should lead again. Some sins reveal a character flaw that disqualifies a person from leadership. Certainly, such flaws may be corrected by God’s grace over time, but it would be wrong to restore the person to leadership until progress is evident. Furthermore, some sins are of such a nature that the person should not be entrusted with ministry involving children or vulnerable adults. This is to protect those people from possible harm, to protect the person from future temptation, and to protect the reputation of the church. It is not unforgiving to block a repentant person from roles in which trust is vital. To sum up, then, if we have forgiven a person, we should seek to comfort them by showing them love. The Corinthians hadn’t done that and Paul knew it was because they were unforgiving. To drive this point home, Paul does what he so often does with the Corinthians. He relates their response to his own integrity. He writes, Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. 2 Cor 2.10-11 This is a remarkable statement. Paul is telling them that he trusts their judgement in forgiving the repentant person. He hasn’t verified the person’s repentance himself, but he takes their word for it. They have forgiven and so he will too. But Paul goes beyond simply saying that he forgives. He reminds them of why his forgiveness was necessary. He gives three reasons: CHRIST. He has forgiven ‘in the sight of Christ’. The gospel compels him to forgive. The Lord, who taught us to pray for divine forgiveness ‘as we forgive those who sin against us’, will one day ask Paul to give an account for his behaviour. And Paul, knowing that he himself has received forgiveness, sees forgiveness of the repentant person as the righteous response. How could he behave any other way? THEM. He has forgiven ‘for your sake’. Forgiveness is relational. It has a vertical dimension – ‘in the sight of Christ’—and a horizontal dimension—'for your sake’. When we fail to forgive, we harm our brothers and sisters. Paul recognises that unforgiveness on their part won’t only harm the person they won’t forgive. It will harm them too. How can we serve joyfully with others and proclaim Christ if we don’t forgive one another? Unforgiveness is a noose around all our necks. SATAN. Paul knows that the evil one has an agenda in every relational breakdown among God’s people. His schemes aim to destroy the fellowship, to drive people apart. If he can’t do that by tempting the sinner to deny his sin and refuse to repent, he will do it by tempting those he sinned against to hold on to grudges, and exclude him from their love. The gospel calls us to a radical forgiveness. Another caveat is vital here. Paul is not writing to the victims of abuse at this point. He isn’t demanding that a person who has been crushed by the sin of another should welcome the abuser back with open arms. That may never be possible and those who have been abused need patient and tender care. And, let me say it again, he is not saying that everyone can be restored back to the position they held before. However, the apostle Paul is saying that a church should restore truly repentant people into the circle of their love. This is necessary for four clear reasons. For the sake of the sinner. Because of Satan’s schemes. Because of the harm unforgiveness does to a fellowship. Because of our accountability to Christ. Forgiveness is fraught with dangers. If that is true for churches, it is even more so for leaders. So, with leaders especially in mind, let me remind you of those words from Paul that form the title of this post. Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. When those we lead sin, we can struggle to forgive. Especially if their sin includes resistance to our humble and selfless service, or unfair accusations against us. Bitterness can creep into our hearts. But that way lies disaster. Sometimes we need to learn from the church we lead, as Paul was willing to do from Corinth. If they have forgiven the person, so must we. Sometimes we need an older, wiser leader to show us the way, as Paul did for the Corinthians. But above all, we must be able to say to the Lord Jesus himself, Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. 1. See 2 Corinthians 2:4. The earlier letter was either 1 Corinthians or an unknown letter that came after 1 Corinthians and before 2 Corinthians.

If you’re a leader, you have soft power. You might never have thought about it but you do. Have you thought about the implications of this? What is soft power? Here’s a working definition to get us started.[1] The power that comes from relationship and trust, or from influence and popularity rather than from formal authority. It can be exercised wholly positively, but has the disadvantage of not being very transparent. If people do what you say just because they like and trust you, that’s soft power. In my book, Powerful Leaders?, I explore how soft power and influence work in Christian leadership. The healthy use of authority and power is a vital thing to help people flourish, so when it goes wrong, it can be very damaging. Sadly, the most likely place for it to go wrong is in the soft power and influence that Christian leaders often wield unwittingly. This is partly because we don’t think about it very much, and may even be unaware that we possess it. When leaders start to go off-track, I don’t believe it is badly motivated. At least, not usually. Rather, it is when we try to get some good end for the gospel or for the church but do so by manipulative or coercive means. We think we are doing Jesus’ work, but we aren’t doing it Jesus’ way. As soon as we act in ways that aren’t in the light, it doesn’t matter how good the outcomes are, the work isn’t of God. Ends do not justify means in his kingdom. I wrote my book to shine a light on the use of soft power and influence with the aim of helping leaders and churches to understand how it works, and to encourage them to embrace a healthy use of authority. However, perhaps the most challenging issue isn’t the leadership practice of individual leaders or leaders within organisations, but the cultures and tribes they serve. CULTURE Cultures can be nebulous things. They generally have defining narratives that have built up over time, and are designed to promote group attitudes, codes, behaviours, and a sense of identity and mission. But like a puff of smoke, they are hard to get hold of. Very often, cultures possess no single individual or group that is tasked with responsibility for laying out the cultural narrative and attendant features. Nevertheless, everyone thinks and acts in line with the narrative. They do this either because they agree with it and have internalised it or they self-censor in order to stay in the group. Ironically perhaps, while cultures can be hard to define, they can encourage rigorous conformity. It may not be explicitly communicated, but everyone knows who is at the top table, even if they don’t have titles and positions. Everyone knows the narrative you have to embrace to get in, and to remain in. Cultures create a high degree of cohesiveness around the narrative, even though it may be very unclear who is responsible for it. In fact, if you no longer agree with the narrative, you might well find yourself automatically placed outside the culture. This leads to the following unfortunate result . . . Cultures find it very hard to examine whether power and influence are being exercised in a healthy way. Those on the inside find it almost impossible, since they risk stepping outside invisible boundaries, while those on the outside don’t possess the power and influence to challenge those who wield real power. As a consequence, cultures easily become echo chambers that are impervious to evaluation and review. This is even more the case when they become powerful enough to undergird institutions, legacies, salaries and pensions. At that point—and this is often true of large financial institutions that are essential to an economy (like banks)—they can be deemed too important to be allowed to fail. When this happens, wilful blindness to the use and abuse of power can set in. When some catastrophe occurs, everyone can claim plausible deniability because nobody was actually responsible. And surely you can’t blame the culture as a whole, because that would be to tarnish a lot of innocent people. It’s worth remembering that these people do a lot of good, and by failing to distinguish them from the guilty, their reputations would be harmed. For all these reasons, it can be extremely difficult to spot when a culture has turned into a self-perpetuating echo chamber. FACED WITH A LEADER WHO FALLS When a public leader sins and falls, we tend to respond in one of the following two ways. We lay all the blame on the individual (sometimes in an effort to exonerate the culture). We blame the entire culture for enabling the sins of the individual. I believe we need to be more nuanced. Did the culture have active safeguarding measures in place against the potential for leadership abuses? Or was it inactive and immune to regular review, thereby creating the possibility for abuse through blindness and omission? If the latter . . . While the culture may not have been one that actively enabled abusive behaviour to occur, it was prone to manipulation because it wasn't actively discouraging abusive behaviour. Are there features of the culture that might have attracted and enabled bad leaders? Is there a direct relationship between the culture and the bad leader? Perhaps because they have created it or hold an unquestionable position within it? A culture that is more likely to use its soft power and influence wisely is one that . . . Acknowledges openly that it has soft power. Regularly takes steps to consider how it can ensure spiritual healthiness and transparency with regards to leadership and finance. Is open to constructive criticism and evaluation from ‘critical friends’ who are outside the organisation. I normally expect to find this in cultures that display the following characteristics. In these cultures, leaders . . . Are humble and prayerful, not given to self-congratulation. Value the spiritual formation of leaders. Value character and integrity rather than mere competency. Have no desire to be Big Leaders. Hardly know what a platform is, let alone possess the desire to have a large one. So, here are a few questions for reflection this week. As you consider the culture that surrounds you, mull these questions over, and as you do so, ask the Lord to guide your reflections and your prayers. QUESTIONS How would you describe the church/organisational culture of which you are a member? What is your role, and are you ever in danger of using soft power inappropriately? How would you know? What accountability do you have so that you can consider the culture you’re in and respond with humility and wisdom? How spiritually healthy is the organisational culture of your church? Do you all act with humility and grace towards each other? If not, what actions do you need to take personally to address this? 1. This definition is based on ideas in my most recent book, Powerful Leaders? - How Christian Leadership Goes Wrong and How to Prevent It. Inter-Varsity Press. 2022.

I’ll never forget Marie’s words. I am never alone. She spoke in French, her mother tongue, with a reassuring tone. We were sitting in her living room at the time, and though the words came out of nowhere, I knew exactly what she meant. I knew immediately because of what we share. Marie is my first cousin once removed—my father’s first cousin. She’s ninety-four years of age. I first visited her when I was sixteen. It was my first solo trip abroad. Back then, she lived in Basel, and I would sit in her presence for hours. In her kitchen, I learnt how to make salad sauces and helped her prepare the evening meal. I never felt in the way; she always made room for me. On this past visit, in June 2023, I felt just as welcome. Her home is a place of warmth, order, and love. The view from her balcony is breathtaking and so beautiful. I am never alone. These words are so precious to both of us now. In 1983, unknown to each other, we both began to follow Jesus. I was twenty-three and she was fifty-five. Of course, it radically changed our conversations. From then on, we grew much closer, learning and growing together in our faith. She lived in a different country, but we wrote to each other and spoke on the phone. She was, and is, truly a gift of God to me. Marie has not had an easy life. Her husband, who’s now passed away, did love her, but he was also emotionally abusive most of their married life. Indeed, he was so brusque and unpleasant at times that due to his behaviour, she lost several friends. Not only that, but one of her sons is estranged from the family to this day because of the way his father treated him. I also felt this man’s harsh tones. Once, he even asked me why I bothered coming to visit. He probably expected me to abandon Marie as others had. I told him that I loved my cousin, though I don’t think he understood what I meant. Through it all, however, Marie never lost hope. She believed that in spite of the many difficulties she faced, God had given her husband to her for a purpose. As he declined in his later years, she displayed immense patience and love, nursing him right up to his death at the age of eighty. That was eighteen years ago. I am never alone. These words were especially important to her in moments of profound grief. Her grandson fell to his death on a hike. He was just sixteen. As she grieved, she still opened her heart and her home to me, inviting me in and displaying the same extraordinary hospitality that I had always received. I am never alone. Where did this conviction come from? I believe it grew. I believe she made room for it to grow. And I believe it grew from a habit known as ‘practicing the presence of God.’ Each day, she rose early and completed her chores. Then she made breakfast and by 9.30am, everything was put away, her husband had left for work, and she was alone. That’s when she disappeared into her craft room for between thirty minutes to an hour. This was her ‘alone time’. This was her chance to spend time with her Lord, listening to him, reading his Word, and praying. Without this time, I’m not sure she could have survived her marriage. It was essential to her wellbeing. It gave her inner strength and resilience. Her story reminds me of another—the movie, War Room, released in 2015. The main character also has a prayer room and like Marie, comes to faith later in life. Her prayer room is her ‘war room’, the location where she pours out her heart to God, doing battle in the spiritual realm, and trusting her Saviour to answer her prayers. I wonder if you have a ‘war room,’ a place where you come to spend time each day with your Saviour. Recently, I’ve been impacted by the teaching of Brother Lawrence and Frank Laubach, two men who wrote about the spiritual life—especially as it relates to our daily dependence on God. Here’s Brother Lawrence. The difficulties of life do not have to be unbearable. It is the way we look at them - through faith or unbelief - that makes them seem so. We must be convinced that our Father is full of love for us and that He only permits trials to come our way for our own good. Let us occupy ourselves entirely in knowing God. The more we know Him, the more we will desire to know Him. As love increases with knowledge, the more we know God, the more we will truly love Him. We will learn to love Him equally in times of distress or in times of great joy. The Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence On a similar theme, Frank Laubach wrote these words in 1930. Oh, this thing of keeping in constant touch with God, making Him the object of my thought and the companion of my conversations, is the most amazing thing I ever ran across. It is working. I cannot do it even half a day — not yet, but I believe I shall be doing it some day for the entire day. It is a matter of acquiring a new habit of thought. Now I like God’s presence so much that when for a half hour or so He slips out of mind — as He does many times a day, I feel as though I had deserted Him, and as though I had lost something very precious in my life. The writer of Hebrews addresses our daily dependence on God by linking the key to endurance with the practice of keeping our eyes on Jesus. Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Heb 12.1-2a I am never alone. A life in ministry can be lonely at times. Leaders sometimes feel isolated from those they lead. They need support and encouragement. Living Leadership can help, but so too can the habit of practicing the presence of God. For you are never, ever alone. A verse from the prophet Isaiah has been of immense comfort to Marie. I pray that as you read, you too are comforted by it. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isa 41.10 Even in the depths of loneliness and struggle, Marie held onto her Saviour and the truth of this verse. For her God did strengthen her, did help her, and continues to do so. She is ninety-four, and close to the day when she will meet her Saviour face to face. Yet still she clings to him. Even after all these years. For she knows her God is faithful and true. He upholds her with his righteous right hand. May he do the same for you. Each and every day.

A few months ago, I began a series of posts based on the movie, McFarland, USA*. Here is the fourth post in this series. (Read my first post, including synopsis. My second post. My third post.) Where do you see Jesus in this world? If you pay attention, you’ll see him everywhere. His glory is displayed in the sunrise, his mercy exhibited in every food bank, his grace unfolding through acts of forgiveness around the world. Hardly surprising, then, that we see him in the stories we tell. Enter Jim White from the movie, McFarland, USA. The movie is based on a true story. Jim White (his actual name) is a real person, whose extraordinary life we follow on screen. It’s a story which highlights the immense impact he had on a bunch of Latino teenagers in a poor town in California’s Central Valley. As I watched the movie and reflected on it, I couldn’t help seeing parallels with the life of Jesus. I need to make clear, however, that I’m not saying that Jim White is exactly like Jesus. He isn’t. Indeed, some of his frailty contrasts strongly with the example we see in the life of Christ. Nevertheless . . . INCARNATION Let’s begin with the word ‘incarnation’. Christ took on human flesh in order to share his life with us. He joined us bodily in order to be with us, listen to us, care for us, teach us, and ultimately die for us (Heb 2.14-17). When Jim White first arrived in McFarland, he came among a people very different to himself. He didn’t speak the language, he didn’t know the customs, and in fact, his initial attitude contrasts strongly with Jesus. He took the job in McFarland unwillingly, and expressed a desire to leave as soon as possible. Yet he made the sacrifice. He moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere for one reason: to take care of his family. He did it out of love. The Incarnation—capital I—is far more remarkable than we have hearts and minds to imagine. Jim White was still in the USA, the nation of his birth. Although most used Spanish, they also spoke English. By contrast, Christ left a home completely unlike ours. Heaven is a place where the will of the Father is enacted perfectly. There is no suffering, no injustice, no evil, no blemish of any kind. Yet at Christmas—just a few weeks ago—we celebrate the day when our Lord entered our damaged, sinful, unjust, broken, violent world. Earth, though beautiful in so many ways, is not a place fit for a heavenly king. It is not pure and holy, but stained and bloodied by violence and sin. This is the world that our perfect Lord entered—Roman violence, corrupt religious leaders, greedy tax collectors, to name just a few examples of human depravity. Just like today. How remarkable, then, that the Lord Jesus chose, of his own free will, to join us down here in the dirt. He did it out of love. UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL What will you do to get to know your church community? Jim White could have stood aloof, teaching at school and running his practices before going home to his family. Service yes, but not sacrifice. Instead, he enters the homes of the boys he’s leading. He eats with them, surrounded by a language he doesn’t understand. Later, he spends a day in the fields picking cabbages. It’s back-breaking work, and he’s soon massaging his aching muscles. He buys the whole team shoes, rubs shoulders with all the local businessmen, and though it’s a struggle, he eventually manages to murmur a few words in Spanish. More than that, he embraces the customs of his community, holding a quinceanera* for his daughter. In short, he does everything he can—within the limits of his humanity—to enter a foreign land, a way of living with which he is not familiar. He does this, in part, because he needs the collaboration of the parents to run his practices. There is something in it for him. But he also does it because he cares deeply for the boys. They are not just students to him. They become like sons, and he will do whatever is necessary to inspire and lead them. Including eating more enchiladas than is healthy! What about Jesus? He joined us at our table (Zacchaeus), he went to work with us (Simon Peter), he taught us (Matt 5-7), became weary and wept with us (John’s gospel). He drew near. In Jim White, we see a man prepared to enter a world he didn’t know or understand. In Jesus we see a far greater sacrifice—our God becoming man to rub shoulders with the dirty, the rebellious, the idol-worshipers. And he did it for love. OPPOSITION It should be written into a minister’s job description. Will face frequent opposition. Must put up with people who argue, complain, and refuse to cooperate. We see it too in the life of Jim White. His ‘disciples’ drag their feet. They often complain. They lack belief in the goal. His most talented runner, Thomas Valles, walks out. The team almost falls apart. Jim also faces opposition from the boys’ parents. One father withdraws all three of his sons, saying that their practices are getting in the way of their work in the fields. At school, Jim faces criticism from a teacher, who scolds him for not being willing enough to help with after-school activities. He also gets into trouble with his family for forgetting his daughter’s birthday. At times, it seems like the whole world is against him. And so to the Lord Jesus. It seems like the whole world is against him. Where to start? His parents chased out of the country, running for their lives. A confrontation with the devil before his ministry begins; his own family who disown him; followers who leave him when the going gets tough (John 6.66). And I haven’t even started with the Pharisees and the Romans. The life of Jesus is one huge struggle. Because love is costly. It is painted in blood, sweat, and tears. For not only did Christ die on the cross, but he ‘died’ each day as he showed us what it looks like to ‘overcome the world’ (John 16.33b). For contrary to certain ways of thinking nowadays, the world isn’t one big happy family that just seems to have lost its way a bit. The world is in active rebellion against its creator. Jesus described us as ‘evil’, and for good reason. Light vs. dark. Good vs. evil. God vs. the devil. A fight. Hence, opposition. Which brings us to one of the most important dualities. Life and death. LIFE AND DEATH The Messiah came to die. He came to launch the kingdom of the heavens, and then he came to die to demonstrate his triumph over sin, death, and the devil. He came to save us. What do we see in the life of Jim White? We see a man who saves. Quite literally. In one scene, he finds one of his students sitting on a bridge over a busy road. Traffic roars along underneath. The young man is preparing to jump. Until his new teacher comes along and talks him down. But this isn’t the most important moment in the movie. That comes right at the end. Like Jesus, Jim White faces temptation. He is tempted to leave McFarland and take up the kind of job he has wanted his whole adult life—well-paid, with a comfortable home in a largely middle-class majority white town called Palo Alto. He is sorely tempted. Until the very final scene. After winning the state championship, he breathes out his decision. “McFarland.” He decides to stay in the town which has become his home. Poor. Working class. Majority Latino. Jim White lives in McFarland to this day. He recently celebrated his 59th wedding anniversary there. I see this as a demonstration of the ultimate sacrifice. Because many can give. But true sacrifice requires an entire life. To give up everything for the sake of love, one must pay with one’s life. For Christ was born with his death already laid out before him. He came to die for us, to offer up his life for us. Let us give thanks for an act of love that has no rival. Let us give thanks for the ultimate sacrifice . . . that gives us life. *A quinceanera is a celebration in the Latino community in the USA when a young woman turns fifteen.