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Last time, I looked at two responses to the question of reputation. Especially where it concerns Christian leaders. I talked about two responses, which I personified with the words ‘booster’ and ‘bomber’ (see Guarding your Reputation – Part One). So, faced with these twin temptations, how should Christian servants approach the question of reputation? Three things to consider. 1) You cannot guard your reputation. It is too great a burden, and it is one the Lord never asked you to shoulder. At times, you should gently and firmly correct misrepresentations of you, but you must be careful to place the reputation of the gospel ahead of your own. Sometimes, however, the two cannot be separated neatly. Consider the apostle Paul’s defence of himself in 2 Corinthians. His concern was clearly the gospel, but he knew that the message could not be separated from the messenger. So while we shouldn’t tie our reputations as tightly to the gospel as Paul did – he was, after all, a foundational apostle appointed directly by Christ – there are, in fact, times when reputation bombing is inappropriate and damaging to the gospel. Sometimes you have to defend yourself. Be aware, however, that you can't control everyone’s opinions of you. The apostle Paul certainly couldn’t, and in our world of social media, tribes and networks, it’s even harder. At times, an attempt to protect your reputation will only cause more harm. This is especially true if you’re communicating with ‘boosters’ who see you as a rival or who might suspect you of hubris. Consider Nehemiah, who offered a short defence with these words: ‘Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head.’ Moses also stands out as a man who entrusted his reputation to God (see Numbers 12), but he also sought the restoration of those who maligned him when God humbled them, as we should. We need the gracious patience of the Lord Jesus to stay resolutely committed to doing our Father’s will despite betrayals, denials and false accusations, yet without reviling those who revile us (1 Peter 2:20-23). We must trust in the Lord who made Himself of no reputation (Philippians 2:7) to vindicate us in His timing (Psalm 135:14). 2) Scripture never calls us to guard our own reputation. It does, however, charge us to guard two things: the gospel and our hearts. Our twin concerns should be communicating Christ and cultivating character. The deposit of the gospel has been entrusted to us and, as Paul urged Timothy, we must guard it carefully, making it our chief concern and remaining faithful to it (1 Timothy 1:11; cf. 6:20; 2 Timothy 1:13-14). If doing so damages our reputation, that’s a price worth paying. At the same time, we must guard our hearts – the inner life of our thoughts, emotions and decisions – as the wisdom of Proverbs challenges us (Proverbs 4:23). A good conscience matters as much as a sincere faith. Furthermore, the love that is generated by the gospel can only flow from pure hearts (1 Timothy 1:5), so we must hold fast both to core convictions (the ‘faith’, meaning the gospel) and a clear conscience (1 Timothy 1:19; cf. 3:9). How do we do this? Through the two disciplines of the heart described by Paul in Philippians 4: prayer that clears the way for God’s peace to guard our thoughts and emotions (verses 6-7) and meditation on the truths of the gospel, so that they become the air we breathe, the window through which we view the world (verses 8-9). Don’t aspire to grow a reputation based on a flawless public persona. Instead, seek to nurture the fruit of the Spirit, which enables us to let go of our desires for revenge, and empowers us to repay evil with good (Romans 12:17-21). 3) We don’t guard the gospel and our hearts alone. We live and thrive by being part of a community of believers. In his letter to the Philippians, Paul urges two of his sisters in the Lord to reconcile. Guarding the gospel and our hearts should be right at the heart of our fellowship with our brothers and sisters. We must seek opportunities to support each other and to encourage one another. In humility, we should also submit within relationships of accountability to those who walk the same road. This is hard, but it is essential if we are to walk humbly with our God. (Micah 6.8) Seek also to delight in Jesus together and speak out the wonders of his mercy and grace. Such shared experiences should make confession a natural response, and accountability should also follow from a heart touched by grace. Specifically seek out those who value integrity and a desire for God’s glory over reputation. Develop strong bonds with those who are prepared to speak truth to you when the going gets tough, and perhaps you’re veering off track. If you don’t have that support, please seek it. We at Living Leadership would love to help you by linking you with one of our workers or associates and inviting you into our mentoring groups, conferences and networks. Please contact us if we can help. So, stop trying to guard your reputation – leave that to the Lord. Instead, make sure that, in partnership with others, you guard the deposit of the gospel entrusted to you and let God’s peace guard your heart as you walk humbly with your God.

‘Don’t try too hard to guard your reputation.’ A brother once spoke these words into my life, and I am deeply grateful that he did. I had shared with him about a couple of situations in which my reputation was at risk unfairly. As we walked away from the café where we met, he offered these words as a gentle reproof to my troubled heart. I have thought of them often while navigating the world of ministry. For we live in a reputation-fuelled culture. Reputation matters in Christian circles. In our loosely inter-connected evangelical subculture, it is the currency which unlocks speaking and writing invitations and job and committee appointments. Perhaps this is inevitable to some degree, but, sadly, gatekeepers to these ministry opportunities don’t always look beyond charisma in both its modern and biblical senses. A strong personality (the modern sense) and spiritual gifting (the biblical sense) are used to assess a person’s suitability for the role, while character is not properly considered. Consider the process of taking references. The right questions sometimes aren’t asked. Candidates may choose referees who don’t know their true character, and those who do may not share it openly for fear of losing their own reputation. It’s a tangled web. I have come to the conclusion that there are two unhealthy ways that people in ministry respond to this reputation-based culture. Personified, I will call them, · Boosters · Bombers They are not mutually exclusive, but can exist at the same time in a person’s heart. In what follows, I will describe them in their most extreme forms. BOOSTERS Boosters embrace the culture founded upon reputation building. They may start out with good intentions; they may want to use their God-given gifts, but they get sucked into building their progress on their reputation. Fearing that any whiff of negativity may harm their prospects, they hide their true selves behind ‘whiter than white’ public personas. In this hidden space, pride thrives and boosters start to believe their own social media propaganda. It then leads to manipulative and controlling leadership. This in turn goes unchallenged by others who fear that they might lose their reputation if they express a concern. When challenges do come, extreme boosters justify their behaviour by invoking God, and they use fair means or foul to silence dissent. There are always enough admirers and ‘yes people’ to sustain the illusion. Honesty is sacrificed on the altar of the ego. Subconscious jealousy motivates boosters to exclude rivals by damning them with the faint praise that kills reputations. Hidden addictions and immoral behaviours also begin to flourish, occasionally coming to light in explosive disgrace that brings the gospel into disrepute. BOMBERS Bombers are at the other end of the scale. They reject the culture of reputation. Bombing is a greater temptation for those who place a high premium on integrity or have been harmed by boosters in the past. In response to boosters’ dominance, they withdraw out of fear of being squashed by stronger personalities or becoming proud themselves. Chronically discouraged by the injustices of ‘the system’ and the ‘crash and burn’ stories of fallen boosters, some bombers abandon ministry altogether. Others retreat from the politics of pan-evangelicalism, preferring to focus on small and localised ministries. A few even give up on the faith altogether. Bombers often dream of a culture which recognises authentic godly character, but struggle to see how such a culture can be developed without playing the booster game. Faced with these twin temptations, how should Christian servants approach the question of reputation? Be encouraged. There is hope, but it’s the subject of my next post. --- This week we are also releasing the latest in our catalogue of refreshed resources for leaders, the first part of a two-part article by Roy Bishop on pastoral care in the situation of adultery. You can find it here. We hope you find it helpful. Part 2 will follow in a future blog post.

Series 5, episodes 1 and 2 Two episodes from Marcus on the importance for Christian leaders of guarding their hearts. Episode 1 - Receiving Praise and Criticism Episode 2 - Leadership and Fear

The last few weeks, I’ve been looking at the term ‘people pleaser.’ You’ve probably heard this one: ‘you can’t please all of the people all of the time.’ I prefer its extended version – ‘you can’t even please some of the people some of the time.’ So stop trying! Serving people – yes. Pleasing people – no. One of the toughest lessons a leader must learn is this one: It’s okay not to be liked. It really is. All the great leaders throughout history learned this lesson early on. However, in church ministry, it’s easy to see how hard it is to implement. How can we teach and serve people unless we have them on our side? And so begins the process of ‘people pleasing.’ Yet it’s impossible to please everyone all the time. Hence the familiar quip above. So at some point, a leader must develop the ability to disappoint people. Decisions must take into consideration the people we’re serving, that much is clear. But they must not be driven by the desire to please everyone. Because that’s just not possible. So a leader must live with the reality that some will be unhappy. At least some of the time. Learn this early, and a leader can then lead by conviction. Music and church services are notorious areas of conflict in a church. As are many of the decisions around the allocation of resources. A leader must be able to assemble all the relevant input, pray, make clear decisions and then move on. All the emotional energy expended worrying about what people will think – it’s largely wasted energy. Be clear in your head why you’re making your decision. Make it. Move on. A leader must lead. You can’t lead by focus group. It won’t work. It means disappointing some. It means some will give negative feedback. It means a tiny minority will spend their time on the side-lines throwing metaphorical stones at you. What’s a people-pleaser to do? A thick skin would be handy, of course. But let's call that resilience. Resilience is a virtue, especially for leaders. But also the development of inner conviction about the direction of the church. Plus the thing we all need - a heart that is centred on Christ. There is no substitute for spiritual depth and maturity. Both emotional and spiritual maturity. But there is one other thing a people-pleaser – and any other leader, for that matter – should do. That’s the subject of my next blog post.

People pleaser. Last time, I looked at this issue and perhaps you shifted uneasily in your seat, knowing that the term referred to you. Partly, at least. People-pleasing can run very deep. Sometimes, it’s so unconscious, that you’re not even aware that you’re doing it. Running from one meeting to another, working ridiculous hours because there are people out there who need to be served. What would they think if they thought I was watching TV when I could have been counselling or doing sermon prep? You can see how people-pleasing leads to overwork, which is never a good idea. So what’s the answer? Well, I mentioned the most obvious answer last time, but it’s worth labouring the point. Os Guinness uses a phrase which people-pleasing leaders need to put on their desks and look at every day. Here it is: An Audience of One. It seems so obvious, so simple, yet for people-pleasing leaders, it’s almost impossible to fulfil. Oh, we say we live for an Audience of One, but our behaviour doesn’t reflect that. We’re tugged this way and that by the opinions and demands of our people. Ever get feedback from your congregation on how you’re doing? How does it make you feel? People-pleasers are both gratified and discouraged by those forms. They like me! No, they don’t, they’re leaving. Up and down go the emotions. ‘But I’m just human. I don’t live in a bubble. I have feelings. What’s wrong with that!?' Nothing wrong with emotions. What’s wrong is when the regard of others begins to move us in ways that aren’t healthy. There is a spectrum here. Somewhere along that line, people-pleasers get lost. They profess to live for the Audience of One, but inside what people think begins to take precedence. The opinions of others begin to push a people-pleasing leader around and when this happens, they get hurt. Meditating daily on the idea that we live for an Audience of One can help. Do it today. Christ is your North Star, a rock who never changes, who loves you the same every day. Regardless of how good your sermon is, or how many meetings you attend or how well you’re coping. Every second of every day must be surrendered to Christ, and him alone. Stop worrying about what others think, and start thinking about pleasing your master, who loves you. If you watch some TV at the end of the day, you know, that’s okay. It really is. And you don’t need to explain yourself to others. You don’t. Next time, I’ll look at a challenging issue for people-pleasers: It’s okay not to be liked.

People pleaser. You’ve heard the term. Perhaps you know that it relates to you. It makes you uncomfortable so you become defensive. Isn’t ministry all about serving people? Don’t the Proverbs talk about reputation in a positive light? A good reputation and respect are worth much more than silver and gold. (Prov. 22.1) What’s wrong with a good reputation? And how you can get that without serving people and being seen to serve them? All true. No question. It’s good to serve. A good reputation enables a leader to lead. It gives a person credibility, which leads to trust. But none of this has anything to do with pleasing people. A good reputation can be established without ever becoming a ‘people-pleaser.’ The term itself is unsettling, isn’t it? There’s something inherently weak about the concept. Serving people, yes. Pleasing people, no. Why is this? The first reason is obvious. Leaders should serve God, not people. It’s as simple as that. But there are other reasons, which have to do with drivers. Drivers are those motivations inside us which give impetus to the choices and decisions we make. We like to think that God is our sole motivation, but the reality is we’re all broken. And because we’re broken, the pure driving force of ‘serving God’ has become corrupted. We’re actually driven by a whole variety of things which have nothing to do with God. This is particularly serious for leaders, because these drivers damage our ability to lead people with integrity. The weakness within a ‘people-pleaser’ relates to the need to be accepted and liked. A good place to start is simply to ask the obvious question, Why do I seek acceptance from others? What’s driving that? The reality is we all need love and the desire (yearning?) for acceptance appears to be some kind of distorted expression of that. But where is it coming from? Insecurity about ‘being liked’ can have multiple sources, from poor parenting to bullying at school to poor social skills and the inability to form healthy friendships. And let’s be honest, none of us is totally and completely secure. We’re human, after all. Yet the answer is always the same. Christ, our firm foundation, of course, but also those who love us (friends, spouse) telling us over and over that we’re loved and accepted by our God. Being rooted (Col 2.7) is also a wonderful image. A second helpful question is, Are there certain kinds of people whom I seek to please more than others? Wealthy, charismatic church members exert power and at times, they seek to exert their will over you as the leader. Unless you understand what’s happening and why your urge to please is being gratified (and at times manipulated), then you will quickly succumb to the powerful. Sometimes it’s coming from the other end of the spectrum – a desire to be seen as compassionate by the needy. So it’s not the wealth and status, it’s the fact that you seek approval apart from God. God’s acceptance and love simply aren’t enough, so you find yourself seeking love from others in an unhealthy way. It’s the kind of ‘love’ which strokes your ego when God seems insufficient. What’s the answer aside from the obvious? There are some things which need consideration, but nothing will ever work better than the obvious: luxuriating in the presence of a gracious God who loves us. At times, he may not seem sufficient, but that’s a lie. He is always, always sufficient, always good, always faithful and when we seek to live for him alone, everything in life lines up. So let’s start there. Next time, I’ll be looking at some other practical steps to tackle the ‘people-pleasing’ beast. This week, we’re releasing an article by David and Odile Pollard on cross-cultural marriages. Especially for those who lead churches which include many nationalities, this is an excellent article to equip you to serve a multi-cultural congregation. Click here.

Series 4, episodes 2 and 3 Three episodes of Jonathan Lamb's teaching at the 2008 Pastoral Refreshment Conference Midlands on themes from 2 Corinthians. Episode 1 - Grace and Integrity https://www.livingleadership.org/podcast/episode/1c289519/series-4-episode-1-grace-and-integrity Episode 2 - Grace and Power in Weakness https://www.livingleadership.org/podcast/episode/1eba3f2d/series-4-episode-2-grace-and-power-in-weakness Episode 3 - Grace and Glory https://www.livingleadership.org/podcast/episode/1b9ac6ae/series-4-episode-3-grace-and-glory

What’s your life? Fight or Journey? On March 5, I took a look at Journey. Today, it’s Fight. In spite of its difficulties, I believe Fight is a more dominant biblical theme than Journey. For good reasons. First exhibit: The Old Testament. For reasons that reside deep inside the mind of God, he chose to form a nation and then set that nation on collision course with other nations. You can’t get away from this truth. The Israelites fought pretty much every group with an ‘–ite’ on the end of its name. It is true that they were sometimes condemned for such behaviour, but on dozens of occasions, they are commanded by God to go and slay their enemies. Yes, commanded. God’s use of warfare to achieve his ends must, of course, be placed within the context of his redemptive purposes, but he surely does not avoid warfare as a means to an end. Fighting, a violent physical activity, and yes, a symptom of our fallenness, is used by God as a tool in his hands to achieve his ends. Second and most important exhibit: The gospels. The gospels present Christ in direct opposition to the Devil. His temptation in the desert, followed by his myriad healings and exorcisms bring him into conflict with his Opposition, the prince of the air. Furthermore, he is opposed constantly by people who want to kill him. In addition, he frames his teaching in terms of ‘with me or against me.’ Even in the Sermon on the Mount. Blessed are you when you are persecuted ‘in my name.’ That’s Fight. With me or against me. You must pick a side. No fence-sitting permitted. But the crucial one must be the highpoint of history, when the Son of God hung upon a cross, died and was then resurrected. This act is represented as a triumph. A victory over sin, death and Satan. It is Fight which lies at the very heart of the Christian faith. A fight which God wins and into which he calls us. It is, of course, tragic that European Christian leaders and Popes thought that capturing Jerusalem or fighting each other on behalf of God was a correct interpretation of Scripture. They were wrong. The Fight is internal – for purity – and yet it is also focused outwards. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.… I wonder if you have attended churches where the dominant idea was ‘fighting the devil.” I have. Every prayer meeting was a duel with the devil. Off we went, ‘taking the land,’ ‘declaring spiritual truths to each other and to spiritual forces.’ It can get tiring after a while. I’m bound to say, however, that when the sense of Fight is absent, a church can lose its confidence. And it can lose its way. Ask yourself as you look out over your congregation on a Sunday morning: ‘Do we look like an army? Do we live like people who are in a fight for the Kingdom of God, praying with fervour for the glory of God to be revealed and for his kingdom to come?’ I love these lyrics from Our God Reigns by Delirious: Yes he reigns, yes you reign, yes you reign, For there is only one true God, But we've lost the reins on this world, Forgive us all, forgive us please, As we fight for this broken world on our knees. As we fight for this broken world on our knees. What passion! What drive! I favour Fight right now, because we need it more. In hospitals around the land, our health care professionals are fighting a virus which is killing people. Christians are bonding together in prayer, to pray for God’s Kingdom to come and within that idea is Fight. Fight against the virus and against an enemy who seeks to discourage us and wear us down. Even to divide us. So, in prayer, we need to fight for those we love and those in need. But we also need to stand boldly on the name of our Saviour, whose victory cry still rings out. That’s why the metaphor, Fight, is far more valuable right now than Journey (though both have their place). Let us fight on our knees because we know that our God is already victorious. This week, we’re releasing the second article on Divorce by Neil Powell, the City London Director for City to City U.K. and a chair of City to City Europe, a church planting organisation . Click here for 'Is a Christian permitted to divorce an abusive spouse?'

By Marcus Honeysett (ed. Richard Thor Collins) This post first appeared on Marcus' blog - Digital H2O - on March 27. Snowflake. The top definition in the Urban Dictionary: A term for someone who thinks they are unique and special, but really are not . . . Began being used extensively as a putdown for someone, usually on the political left, who is easily offended or felt they needed a safe space away from the harsh realities of the world. Personally, I don’t like the term. I think it’s unfair. The generation of so-called snowflakes face an uncertain world. Many feel that the foundations that once provided security and hope are no longer there. They feel cheated. Some are angry. As a response, they’ve sought solace in creating their own identities, which are affirmed by their peers, regardless of how absurd these are. Nevertheless, harsh realities remain the same. A lack of meaningful work, shallow relationships and high debt levels for the young make life feel empty and frightening. Furthermore, healthy role models have disappeared along with family structures which once provided a foundation. So they’re anxious. Not surprising, really. It is entirely understandable if people search for meaning in rage or activism. It’s surely not hard to understand why the young seek insulation from the world through safe spaces and trigger warnings. A fantasy world is so much more . . . appealing. So I certainly understand their motives, even if I question their response. I suspect the coronavirus might make us all a little more sympathetic to this generation of so-called ‘snowflakes.’ Remove some of our cherished foundations, and we may also find ourselves as vulnerable as the anxious teen next door. Yet, some positive effects might also follow. 1) We might gain some sympathy for those we have previously designated weak and selfish. We might even ditch that odious response, ‘pull yourself together.’ 2) We might come to realise how unreliable our crutches are – the things we use to bolster our sense of safety. Brittle foundations are easily exposed at a time like this. They crumble if the blow is strong enough. So I am very sympathetic to people who want comfort and safety when the world is falling to pieces. My concern is that safe spaces and trigger warnings are unlikely to be fit for purpose. They are inadequate to the task. At worst, they lead to denial. The truth is, there is only one truly safe place. As the writer of Proverbs reminds us, ‘The name of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and they are safe’ (Prov.18.10). When God exiled most of his people to Babylon, some of those who managed to remain in Jerusalem started to think themselves safe. They said, “This city is a protective iron pot and we are the meat.’ (Ezek. 11). God responds by telling them their days are numbered, he will eventually exile all of them. But he goes on to add that his presence and protection are actually with the exiles, the destitute, the insecure and those far from home. The veneer of safety was never going to save the smug Jerusalem elites. Only the presence of God could do that. How can we experience God’s presence during these terrible times? Far too early this morning my young son crawled into my bed, pulled my arms around him and murmured ‘nice and warm.’ In my half-asleep state, I thought, ‘that’s a good picture of what God wants us to do.’ Jesus told his disciples to remain in him, and thereby in the love of the Father, so that his joy may be in them and their joy may be complete. He says the way to do that is by his word remaining in us. When we bury his word as deeply in our hearts as we can, we remain in him, and as a consequence, we are safe in him and in his joy. And what does this joy accomplish for us? The joy of the Lord is our strength. (Neh. 8.10) It’s easy to think this isn’t a practical answer to all the insecurities we are facing – jobs, food, physical health. And certainly these things are important. But they are not ultimately important. Romans 14:17 says that the Kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. The first Christians threw away all their desire for comfort for the sake of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Even today, Christians are beheaded for the sake of these things. We are comforted in trouble, not just by the absence of it. True comfort is a by-product of secure faith and having our eyes fixed on Jesus. Don’t think this is just a platitude. If you’ve read my last couple of blog posts, you know how disoriented I feel. A wise friend reminded me that as a leader, I’m not required to be a strong leader to whom others look. The essential thing is that I’m weak and needy, hanging onto a super-strong Saviour, and I point others to him. How do we keep going? I think it is a matter of snuggling in. We need to be reminded daily of the character of God, our mighty fortress. We need to remind ourselves daily - through Scripture, prayer and worship – that a mighty fortress is our God. The rubber really hits the road when we ask the question, ‘Is God actually going to care for me, really?" Will we truly believe it? Surface-deep faith just isn’t enough. We need to go deeper. So why not dig deep into one of the gospels? Spend a whole morning just reading about Jesus. Let the words lead you to worship. Perhaps you could also take some of the great prayers in the NT and pray them. Perhaps memorise them. This virus is not just a huge challenge, it’s an opportunity. To press in more, to spend more time in God’s Word. To grow in our faith. For we have a mighty, loving, compassionate God, who is faithful, good and true.

By Marcus Honeysett (ed. Richard Collins) This post was first released on Marcus' blog - Digital H2O - on 25 March, 2020. You know those big toxic waste barrels? They often have a nuclear symbol on the side, don’t they? Right. So that’s you. Each week, many in your congregation treat you like this barrel. They pour into you all their doubts about God, their marital difficulties, their complaints about church, life, and the universe; they offload their struggles. Gradually, you fill up with toxic material. So what do you do? Where can you go? Most Christian leaders don’t have anyone to whom they can turn. Except perhaps to bend the ear of a poor spouse. Many leaders are isolated. They don’t have professional supervision to help with detoxing. I’ve been in Christian ministry for quite a while, and by my calculation, it takes about fifteen years before leaders are full up with toxicity. Then they either overspill or explode. One more bitter email and frankly, explosion is the likely result. In the midst of this, leaders are required to keep smiling. Why? Because many have a carefully constructed image of being unflappable and infinitely resourceful. It is said that ministers don’t drop out of Christian work because they have forgotten how to preach, but because they have forgotten how to be human. So how are you doing during this pandemic? For myself, well, within a few days my whole routine was gone. All my plans collapsed, to be replaced by Daddy School for an energetic and rather anxious 5 year-old, one who requires constant attention. I find myself all at sea. ‘How do I feel?’ leads to ‘how should I feel?’ to ‘How do people expect me to react to this?’ And finally, what is it appropriate to express to the outside world? Including in this blog post. I am certainly not alone. I’m among a set of Christian leaders who feel a strong obligation to be strong, resilient and spiritually dynamic when in fact we’re feeling weak, vulnerable and isolated. We’re just like everyone else, but we’re not supposed to admit it. So here is my confession - I am feeling it. I wonder if, in the stripping back, the Lord is calling us to pare right back. Perhaps it’s okay just to pray. Or spend a whole morning reading a gospel. Without all the distractions and obligations which often choke off our devotional times. I wonder if this isn’t a perfect opportunity to get rid of the idols we lean on – competence, spiritual wisdom, false identities. I wonder if the uncertainty which surrounds us might not be the ideal trigger to stop presenting a false image of ourselves and start admitting that we too are vulnerable and anxious. We’re not omni-competent. We’re not, and we never have been. Of course it comes with risks. Do people really want Christian leaders who are weak and vulnerable? Or leaders who are strong and able? Do our people want spiritually mature leaders, conscious of their limitations, who draw out the gifts of others, or leaders who promise answers, who never show weakness, more Terminator than human? I hope it’s the former, but the reality is that many of us present the latter. Secretly, I suspect many leaders don’t want 2 Corinthians 12 to be true - boasting in our weakness and inadequacy. Paul can keep his thorn in the flesh. I don’t need it. But the thing is, the lesson he learnt, that God’s grace is sufficient . . . it’s true. By some means, we will have to learn this lesson. There is no other path which leads to wholeness. And without chapter 12, we can’t deliver on chapter 1, comforting others. If I am impervious, I scarcely need to receive comfort. And without experiencing that comfort myself, how can I comfort others? I might be able to train them in skills, but I’ll never be able to model how to be a disciple in bad times as well as good, or when I don’t know all the answers. Especially that last one. I don’t have all the answers. Never have, never will. Go check the Psalms. The psalmists didn’t either. There is a sense in which these unprecedented times demand change from us. Our normal responses are not fit for purpose. Yet, it’s also true that nothing has really changed. These times are simply revealing what was always true. The fragility of life, the need to trust God at all times. Maybe even those uncomfortable truths, that masks don’t work, that competence alone can’t substitute for a raw dependence on God. So what do you want to model to your people? That strength and competence is the key to survival? Or that by confessing to feeling weak and vulnerable, we are led to the feet of our Almighty God? Unprecedented times. And yet, the Truth remains the same. I pray that God will lead me to greater depths in my prayer life. I hope in yours too. In our vulnerability, I pray that we all grow in trust and intimacy with our God, who is our refuge and strength. Forget the need to be unflappable or present a perfect image. Now is the time to model dependence on God our Father who draws close to those in need. To those who openly confess their weakness and dependence. To him be the glory. Marcus Honeysett When I said “my foot is slipping,” your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul. Psalm 94:18-19 This week, we're releasing our second article on divorce, by Neil Powell. It's entitled 'When is divorce permitted?' Click here. Neil Powell is the City of London Director of City to City U.K. and a chair of City to City Europe, a church planting organization.

by Marcus Honeysett Edited by Richard Thor Collins Coronavirus has closed the world down. Or so it seems. For itinerant Christian workers like me, just about everything in our diaries has been cancelled. Church leaders are busy figuring out new ways to pastor their flocks, but for those of us who travel, we’re suddenly faced with a vast open space in our calendars. A friend of mine told me, ‘Last week, I had six international trips planned and lots of other work coming in. Now it’s all gone.’ I myself was due to speak at various conferences – now all cancelled. On top of this, my wife is a key worker teacher of vulnerable children. Her task is to figure out how to support these kids with the social distancing restrictions in place. Oh, and we have a rambunctious five-year-old to care for in the home. Small garden, not much space for energy outlet. You can see the problem, surely. Like no other week I can remember, God has used this week to teach me two things. 1) I am not in control 2) It is foolish to find my sense of identity and achievement (let alone security) from my Christian ministry activity I’m reminded of Elijah in 1 Kings 17, an astonishing passage. He says to Ahab, ‘As the Lord, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word.’ Immediately afterwards, there is no revival tour of the Northern Kingdom. Instead, God sends Elijah into isolation. Familiar word nowadays. Three years in the Kerith Ravine, and then in Zaraphath, the land of death. Why? I believe Elijah needed further lessons in trust and reliance on Almighty God. It is training in trusting. And it was no doubt a frustrating and anxious time, especially when the brook dried up. What’s the lesson here? Enforced stopping is not spiritually pointless. It is not useless, wasted space. It’s a time to cry out to God. It’s a space to drink deeply from his Word. Maybe to fast. It is also a time to reach out to our neighbours in ways we often don’t. It might even be an opportunity to catch up with admin – what a thought! Our change in lifestyle doesn’t have to mean a fruitless period. It’s just a different way to produce fruit. For myself, I am hoping to spend more time in prayer. I want to learn in greater depth the meaning of dependence. After all, our God is still ever-faithful and totally in control. And should this virus reconfigure my life permanently, then that is a gift from his good hand. Finally, how important it is to remember that the Bible often emphasises the fragile nature of our lives – how impermanent they are, how subject to forces beyond our control. Let me leave you with some thoughts from James’ letter. Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:13-15

We have considered our core beliefs in these days and how they sustain us with hope in Christ. We have also thought about some of the practical ways we can respond as people who speak hope and show help within the church and beyond. The final issue I want to address is your own position as a leader. If you aren’t a leader in a church (a recognised shepherd) then this may not be for you, but I would encourage you to think of the needs of your leaders at this time. How can you make their work easier and encourage them in it? This is a time, more than most, when godly leadership is needed. If you have been given responsibility under the Lord to be a shepherd of His sheep, then be aware of the particular challenges you will face in these days. Satan will seek to destroy your faith and the flesh will cry out for self-preservation, but you must listen to the Christ-exalting voice of the Spirit and dwell in the promises of the Scriptures. Do not neglect your own spiritual health at this time. Your spiritual well-being will be vital as you seek to inspire and encourage others . There is little doubt that your working patterns will change in the coming weeks. Depending on the nature of your ministry you may face lesser or greater pressure on your time. I suspect that many will initially find they have greater flexibility as some church activities are suspended. I urge you to use this time to dig deep into the Scriptures and to dedicate some time to be still before the Lord. Meditate on His Word and reignite your commitment to prayer. As things progress, however, you may well find yourself under greater pressure with pastoral need. So use these early stages to build a good team around you. Lean on your fellow-elders if you have any. Speak to those you know you can trust to help shoulder the weight of pastoral responsibility. Begin putting plans in place now for what you will do down the line and make sure that none of your church’s responses depend on only one person. The likelihood is that most of us will get the virus and, although it should be mild for the majority, that is likely to mean down time for all of us. Build your contingency plans. In all of this, remember that you are human. That will include: - Getting rest and adequate sleep; - Exercising regularly - get outside, while keeping your distance from others, if at all possible; - Make sure your day has a routine; - Laugh and talk to those you live with about things other than the pandemic; - Consider switching off the news and don't allow yourself to carry a psychological burden you can't cope with (the curse of instant and global news is that it can overwhelm us). Consider, too, the conversations you need to have. Talk with your family members, explain to your children or grandchildren, if you have them, the nature of faith in God in such unprecedented times. Invest in deep and loving support for your spouse of you are married. Model and teach all of this to your church members – encourage them to have the conversations now that they may not be able to have if they or a loved one are struck by the virus and does not recover. Don’t suppress your own anxieties either, but bring them to the Lord. Also be wary in this moment of the dark side of leadership, the abuse of power and influence. Be certain to keep wise boundaries in place around your ministry, to serve those who you shepherd without controlling them and to point to trust on Christ rather than encouraging dependence on you. This might seem like an odd warning when people are in such fear and need, but it is exactly in those moments that temptation is greatest and actions that are wrong can feel right. Beware inappropriate intimacy, maintain accountability and transparency (while preserving appropriate confidentiality), and have clear principles that guard against physical, emotional, financial or sexual abuse of those you and your team care for. Finally, I would recommend that if you don’t already have someone outside a team that co-works with you in your setting to pray for you and to provide pastoral support, you find that. Living Leadership is here for you and we are available in two ways. Firstly, we are dedicating ourselves as a staff team to praying for you. We do that anyway, but we are making that a special priority in coming weeks so please email us or complete the contact form on our website if you have specific prayer requests. Secondly, we are available to chat to you by phone or video call if you need to speak to someone and be refreshed in the gospel. Our time and resources are limited, but we will do our best to respond ourselves as staff or to link you with one of our trusted associates. To ask for that, use the contact form on our website. Supporting Shepherds – top tips · Focus on your own spiritual health in this time. Use rearranged schedules to create patterns of prayerfulness and digging deeply into the Word. Remember you are human! · Form a team around you who can support you and work with you to meet the pastoral needs of your congregation. Remember you aren’t omnicompetent! · Find prayerful support outside your immediate team – someone you know is praying for you and who you can talk to as you need. Remember you aren’t alone – Living Leadership is here for you!