Is Jesus Empathetic?

Empathy.

It’s one of the buzzwords of our culture right now. Everyone wants to receive empathy or to be seen to be empathetic. But what is it? And can we describe Jesus as empathetic?

First, a definition from dictionary.com

Empathy

Noun

The psychological identification with or vicarious experiencing of the emotions, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN

I feel your pain.

Really? Do you? This is our common understanding of empathy, but it’s mistaken. ‘Vicarious’ communicates the idea that we use our imaginations to participate in the experience of others. That’s not the same as actually feeling my pain. It just isn’t.

I wonder if you’ve ever desired to feel another person’s pain, and discovered that it’s not possible. I have. When my loved ones suffer, I experience an intense desire to feel what they’re feeling, so that I might in some way journey with them as they suffer. But I can’t. I can sympathise (feel sorrow for another) but I can’t actually feel their pain.

It belongs to them alone. I can’t climb inside it and feel it too.

If we give empathy the meaning so many of us give it—feeling the pain of another—then who can do this? Could God manage it? Certainly, we read that ‘The Lord is close to the brokenhearted’ (Ps 34.18) and ‘We do not have a high priest (Jesus) who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses’ (Heb 4.15a). But feeling our pain? In Isaiah, we’re given a hint of this extraordinary truth.

In all their affliction he was afflicted.

Isaiah 63.9a (ESV)

This verse in Isaiah expresses the profound connection that God has with his people, Israel. The suffering they experienced, he also experienced. Building a theology on one verse is, of course, unwise, but could it be true that the Lord actually feels my pain? What do you think?

So, what about Jesus? How does he express empathy in the gospels?

In so many ways.

THE EMPATHY OF JESUS

First, Jesus expresses his empathy through action. His healings show his compassion for those who are suffering. His exorcisms do the same thing, relieving the pain of a person possessed by an evil spirit. He also shows empathy through his words. In John’s gospel, when he’s praying to his heavenly Father, he describes the proximity and connection he has with his disciples.

All mine are yours, and yours are mine, and I am glorified in them.

John 17.10

I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one . . .

John 17.23a

But what about his teaching? Here, it’s easy to become confused.

Frankly, there are many in our churches who want an empathetic Jesus to wrap them up in cotton wool. If he feels my pain, surely he will take it away. It’s easy to misunderstand Jesus. Does he say encouraging words? Certainly. Here are a couple of my favourite verses.

Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matt 11.28-29

I could fill the rest of this post with similar verses. Our Lord knows us; he cares for us; he’s with us. All true. But if that means we see Jesus as touchy-feely, then we’re making a huge mistake. It’s essential, then, in our sermons and teaching, that we don’t mislead people into thinking that the primary aim of Jesus’ ministry was to remove pain and suffering, or to comfort and soothe. It certainly wasn’t intended to massage the egos of his listeners.    

In the gospels, the purpose of Jesus’ miracles and the focus of his teaching isn’t merely the removal of pain. Though he does do this. He’s showing the world that he is the promised Messiah, and he’s launching the kingdom of the heavens. Jesus is more interested in teaching the truth about God and this new kingdom than anything else. By miles. Clearly, God cares for the poor, the marginalised, the suffering, there’s no doubt about that. But when Jesus calls people to follow him, he sounds anything but empathetic. Here’s a flavour.

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Matt 16.24

If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

Luke 14.26

To the rich ruler . . .

When Jesus heard this, he said to him, “One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”

Luke 18.22

THE IMPLICATIONS

So, what are the implications for church leaders? There are many, but here are three.

JESUS IS CLOSER THAN WE CAN IMAGINE

We read in the Psalms that God is close to the brokenhearted. Which of us isn’t brokenhearted? Which church isn’t full of people, who have lost relatives, who suffer physical and mental anguish, who often feel lonely, fall out with relatives, struggle with finances, and, at times, feel despair. Beyond knowing, understanding, and comforting, might our God actually feel our pain? His knowledge is deep; in Jesus, his experience of human life is full and complex, and his love far greater than we can possibly understand. So, when we suffer, yes, he’s there with us.

He is closer than we can imagine.   

That’s our Jesus.

TEACH THE TRUTH

Jesus taught hard truths. He may have extended grace to sinners, such as Zacchaeus, but he was also highly critical of those who doubted or questioned his priorities and path. He called Simon ‘Satan’—not very empathetic—and we all know what he said to the Pharisees. In these stories, we never see ourselves as Pharisees. We are ever blind to the planks in our eyes. And we so easily take the easy path. We may want an ‘empathetic Jesus’ when in truth, we need the real Jesus, who calls us to a holy life.

Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.

Matt 7.13-14

Not very ‘empathetic’, perhaps, but exactly what we need to hear.

Most of all, we need the truth because we follow the Truth.

REVERSE EMPATHY

Finally, what we truly need is what I call ‘reverse empathy’. What is this?

Instead of God feeling our pain, the New Testament speaks about our intimate connection with Jesus in his sufferings. In other words, we are the ones who need to ‘share his sufferings.’

That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.

Phil 3.10

But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

1 Pet 4.13

This kind of empathy is one in which we are joined to our Saviour in his suffering.

What is the worst thing that can happen to us? Death, of course. Until we come to understand that in God’s glorious plan, it is death that gives us life. And not just the death of Christ, but our own deaths. The apostle Paul puts it this way.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Gal 2.20

This is what we really need. The commitment and courage to share in Christ’s suffering. It requires that we give up our lives, and when we do, we will discover that he returns them to us, whole and new and full of himself.

Our greatest need isn’t empathy. Of any description.

Certainly, there are times when we need to be comforted, but we have a deeper need. If you’re a leader, the people in the churches you serve have a deeper need.

They need the real Jesus, the risen Jesus.

The Jesus who calls them to follow him, to share his sufferings, to lose their lives for the sake of his glorious kingdom.

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